


The Empathy Mirror

by Peace_and_LongLife32



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magical Artifacts, Moments of self harm, Neglect, Physical Abuse, and, some - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-09-19 04:18:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9418163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peace_and_LongLife32/pseuds/Peace_and_LongLife32
Summary: The Shadowhunter gang ends up in a basement where an ancient mirror is found. It has the ability to know the gulity's every secret and every sin. As for the victims, it can give them justice, vengeance to those who have caused them harm. When Alec finds it, he and the others are drawn in and everyone learns exactly what Alec has gone throughout his life and just how strong he is.





	1. Into the Glass

“Shit.”

Everyone stopped and stared at Alec's back as he stood dazed, attention glued to a large silver mirror with glass so dark it looked like melted charcoal. His body blocked most of it from their gazes.

Jace turned towards his parabatai but Alec held a hand up, stopping him in his tracks.

“No one move.” You could have heard a pin drop. No one breathed as Alec inched towards the mirror. “No one look into the mirror.”

“I thought all of these had been destroyed and burned”, he muttered in both dread and awe. 

Maryse broke first, unable to be out of the know. “What is it, exactly?”

“An Empathy Glass,” Alec shuddered, “made of the blood of a willing Warlock, Vampire, Werewolf, Seelie, Shadowhunter…. And… a Phoenix...”

Maryse scoffed, “There are no such things as Phoenixes”

Alec shrugged, “Not any more- no. Not after the massacre.”

Simon's face, already too pale, became ashen. “The massacre?”

“An Empathy Glass can only made by a combination of all these races blood. Phoenixes always had the smallest numbers, once Shadowhunters figured out how to kill them- permanently I mean, they were the obvious choice to kill off in order to prevent any more of these being made”. 

Alec still hadn’t taken his eyes off the mirror. The others weren’t sure if he had even blinked since first spotting it.

Magnus spoke up, “And what exactly does it do that Shadowhunters can justify killing off an entire race and turning their very existence into a myth?”

Alec’s body shook, like Magnus’s words had taken away a pillar of support that no one could see. His hand trembled as he wove his fingers through his ink black hair and he laughed bitterly.

“If you are the guilty, it shows you and everyone else who gazes in the mirror your every sin, your every secret, and every cruel thing you’d ever done is done to you tenfold. And if you are the victim, it causes the one who caused you harm to feel your pain as you felt it but-”

“Tenfold?” Izzy guessed.

Alec made a rough sound in the back of his throat, that was suppose to be an agreement. 

“How come you can look at it,” Clary asked, “Are you neither a harmer or a victim?”

“Everyone is either guilty or a victim, when they look into the mirror, when in a room filled with others they know- but to answer your question, I can look into it because none of you have and activated it.” 

Jocelyn looked up sharply, taking care to look at the tense shoulders of Alec rather than the murky glass. “And what does that mean?”

“It means if any of you look in it and have been grievously wronged by me, I will be deemed guilty and I will face the pain I have caused you. If any of you look into it and have grievously wronged me, I will be considered the victim and you will face my pain.” 

“Why you?” Jace questioned. 

“I was the first to gaze into it and I can not look away. It means the mirror has determined me to be one or the other. ” 

Simon voiced the obvious question, “So what do we do?” 

Alec sounded frustrated, “I don’t know. I’ve never been in this situation before.”

“But you’re the only one who knows anything about it” said Clary.

“Yeah, but not from experience.”

Robert spoke for the first time since he had found himself in an abandoned house. “So how do you know of it?”

“I have a couple of friends from other institutes. One day, one of them was crying. She was holding this old, and by old I mean older than anyone in this room, book- including all Downworlders. It had been passed down through her family. She was crying about all the injustices that our kind had done that was documented within the book. It also talked about Empathy Glasses.”

Alec took a deep breath. “Her ancestor was one of the ones who created them. It was at a time where even Shadowhunters were horrified by the cruelty of other Shadowhunters. It was created in hopes of making a change- it did, just not in the way they had hoped.”

Alec rolled his shoulders and sank to the floor, the power of the glass draining his strength. He tried to close his eyes but found himself unable. 

“It makes sense though, why we all ended up here...” Alec said.

Lydia cocked her head but did not look at the wall holding the mirror, “What do you mean?”

“The mirror has a siren call, if you will. It’s to prevent the guilty from escaping or to lure in the victims who are unwilling or unable to get justice. I mean, Magnus and I were having a date at a diner near here and then found ourselves here. Lydia, Jace, Clary, and Simon were on patrol, Mom, Dad, and Max were out for dinner. I’m not sure about Jocelyn. But Raphael and Luke negotiating and were somehow lead here as well.”

Everyone nodded. That did make more sense than them all just randomly showing up at the same place. 

Alec shuddered suddenly and quite dramatically. Magnus who had been watching him in his provisional vision since his boyfriend first cursed, bit his lip in worry. 

“Okay. This is getting to be a little much. So everyone should start heading towards the exit. Concentrate on getting out and ignore anything that makes you feel like you should look into the glass.”

Everyone silently took note of a melody in the back of their heads that seemed to call to them without them noticing before.

They all took steps towards the door they had entered from when abruptly, the walls began to shake and a voice- beautiful but wrathful screamed overpowering the calm and lovely music from before and all heads snapped towards the mirror and it began to glow and everyone was drawn into the glass.


	2. But a Part of ME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Action!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted chapter one and by the time I was done with chapter 2, I had 24 kudos and 6 comments and I'm honestly honored. I was going to wait until tomorrow to post the second chapter but I was so touched I posted it now. Thank you all so much and I hope you enjoy!!!

Everyone fell through the glass and then dropped to the floor, thuds and moans echoing off newly formed glossy walls. The walls were round, like they had fallen into a tower. They were the same dark bleak color as the glass had been. 

As they all stood and glanced behind them, they could see the reflective surface of the mirror and the outline of the room they had just been in.

Magnus inhaled sharply as he noticed Alec was gone. “Does anyone see Alec?”

It was dark in the room but not dark enough to hide Alec from his sight, Magnus knew that he would be able to spot Alec even in the densest of crowds. He was missing, not overlooked. 

Everyone looked around in alarm but there was no trace of him. 

Suddenly an angelic voice resonated throughout the room. 

“Alec Lightwood has been judged and deemed Innocent. Those who have caused him harm will now face justice.”

Simon called out to the, lovely but still a tad frightening, disembodied androgynous voice. “And who exactly is facing justice?” 

“Those who have caused grievous harm.”

“Yeah, but who exactly?”

The voice did not respond. And would not answer any more questions.

Suddenly, a door appeared on the far wall. It glowed, powerful light escaping from the cracks. 

Max Lightwood, the youngest in the room but one of the brightest, had been observing the whole thing without comment and saw it first. “I think we’re being told we’ve got to find out the hard way.”

Maryse stormed up to Magnus. “This is clearly your fault.”

He raised a single brow, “And how exactly is this my fault?”  


“I know you only seduced him because you hate our family. That has to be the harm that voice spoke of!” She said shrilly. 

Magnus chuckled darkly. His glamour fell and his words were laced with poison. “I know you have a hard time believing this, but not everything is about you or your family name. And I have no doubts to who is facing justice tonight.”

Maryse’s jaw dropped.

Clary grabbed Magnus and Robert pulled Maryse away.

“This doesn’t help us help Alec.” 

Raphael and Luke had been attempting to break through the mirror’s surface but had no luck. 

Jace, impatient and reckless as always marched up to door and threw it open. 

“I don’t know about the rest of you,” he said, “but I’m getting my brother back.” And he walked through without hesitation. 

The others exchanged glances and then followed.

 

They bathed in the bright light for a brief moment before it faded out and became a gentle glow. They found themselves surrounded by round walls again but this time they were various shades of colors blended together in a way only an artist could foresee to be beautiful before the final product. 

Bursts of pinks and purples, blues and reds, greens and yellows were made to be like fireworks on dark grey stone walls. There were doors, each about a foot apart, all along the encircling walls. All of them, except the one they had come from, were filled with light. 

Alec stood in the middle of the room. His back was turned to them and he was wearing a long white robe and had massive wings on his back. 

Magnus rushed to him, Jace, Izzy, Clary, Simon, and Max close behind him. The others were cautious and took their time walking towards him.

He turned around and everyone stopped in their tracks.  


It was most definitely Alec and most certainly not him as well. 

His eyes were the same but the features of his face had become more androgynous... 

Not all women are round and not all men are sharp, despite that being the common way to differentiate. Yet this Alec’s features were now a combination of both. There was no way of saying any feature was feminine or masculine nor strikingly soft or strikingly sharp. They just somehow were. 

His wings stretched and he rose from the ground. 

“Do you understand why you are here?” His voice had also changed, losing it’s recognizable qualities and still washing over them in a familiar way.

It was not the same voice as in the room before but it had the same effect. 

“To be judged and for justice to prevail.” Lydia made the question sound like a statement. 

The not-quite Alec nodded.

“Do you know how it works?”

A series of Nos rang out.

“Each door leads to a different part of Alec’s mind. Each door will hold a different aspect of Alec’s personality just as I am here with you now. Each will show you different memories and if you have caused harm to that part of his personality you will experience what they did whether it be an emotion or a bruise. It will stay with you the rest of your journey. Do you understand?” 

Everyone nodded warily. 

“And what if we have not done grievous harm to Alec? Does anything happen to us then?” Simon asked as he could not ever recall doing anything to Alec but annoying him. 

“Then you will be fine. If you have given him great joy, some of the different personalities may gift you with that experience. It depends on who you meet on your journey.”

“And how does that work?” Izzy asked.

“Each of you will choose a door. Through that door leads to a different room, and a different personality trait that make up Alec as a whole. That aspect of him will determine what you all will go through in that room. When you make it to the end, Alec as a whole will decide who if any, will stay and who, if any will return to reality. If he returns you but does not forgive you, whatever injuries you receive here will stay with you.”

Robert Lightwood scoffed, “That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Neither is killing off an entire species.”

Robert opened his mouth, then closed it again. 

“Are you his angelic side?” asked Magnus.

“Yes.”

Magnus looked uncomfortable but Max was looking up in awe. 

“Max Lightwood, you will choose the first door.”

Max, walked up to a door without hesitation just as Jase had done before. Once he reached it though, his hand hovered over the glass doorknob. Etched onto the knob was the Persevere Rune.

The angelic Alec smiled for the first time, “That is a good one brother. You have chosen well.”

Max beamed up at him and opened it. Everyone followed him with tense shoulders and furred brows.

Magnus was the last one. 

“Magnus,” The winged Alec called out. “I believe you should know, even this side of me cares for you...”

A bit of tension bleed out of him as he walked into the blinding light.


	3. The Most Dangerous Weapon of All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama, ya'all.... A lot of drama....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for all your support. 
> 
> This was one I had some writers block, but I think I got through it well enough. :)
> 
> I hope you like it!

 

As the light settled around them, they noticed the walls of them new room had changed. These walls showed a dark storm with grey clouds and heavy rain and piercing lighting. However, if one looked carefully you could see random pockets of sunshine breaking through the storm clouds. They glowed brightly and felt warm and inviting if one let their hand hover over it. 

 

There was a new Alec in the middle of the room. He was hunched over a desk but looked up when Magnus closed the door behind him. Immediately that door’s light dimmed and then vanished.  

 

This Alec wore bags under his eyes like they were fashion accessories. His face was pale and his shoulders drooped like he held up a heavy weight that no one could see. His clothes were black as midnight, black jeans, shirt, and leather jacket. 

 

However, this Alec also had strings around his entire body that held little glowing balls of light. In the dark and dreary room, he was the most dazzling, welcoming sight. His smile alone was bright enough to push away the sounds of rain and thunder, echoing in their ears.

 

Max walked over to him and Alec rose for his arrival. “Hello, Max.”

 

He opened his arms and Max fell into them. Max knew that this was only a part of his brother, but he felt whole in his arms. 

 

Still smiling, he addressed the others, “How can I help you?” 

 

Everyone stayed silent. 

 

Alec laughed, “Oh! You’re waiting for me to punish somebody aren’t you?” 

 

Alec tailed his fingers through Max’s hair. Everyone was tense. Alec began to hum and Max sunk further into his brother’s embrace. 

 

The ceiling filled with dancing lights. 

 

Clary walked towards the desk. “Who are you?”

 

This shimmering Alec smiled. “I am his perseverance, his fighting spirit, his hope. If you look around this room, the walls tell a story. The storm represents the struggles and strife Alec has faced. The slivers of sunlight are moments of happiness and peace.”

Lydia frowned, “It’s not very well proportioned...”

 

“No, it isn’t…” Alec didn’t sound bitter, merely like he was stating a fact. 

 

The orbs of lights began to dance above them. One took center-stage, expanding to show a memory encased in golden light. 

 

_ It was toddler Alec resting his head on Maryse’s swollen stomach.  _

 

_ “You’re going to be a wonderful big brother...”  _

 

_ “I am?” _

 

_ “The best.” _

 

The globe faded and another took its place. 

 

_ A young Jace walked into the room.  _

 

_ “We’re going to be the best of brothers! We’re going to be parabatai! You know what that means?” _

 

_ “No, What?” _

 

_ “We’ll be inseparable! We’ll be unstoppable!” _

 

_ Alec beamed at him. _

 

_ “Yeah, we’ll be inseparable...” _

 

A third memory began to form. 

 

_ Alec held baby Max in his arms.  _

 

_ “You’re going to be the best of us. You’ll get the best traits from us. You are going to such great things. I’m never going to let anyone stop you from reaching your potential, okay? I promise I’ll protect you. You can always come to me, for anything.” _

 

Alec smiled at them, as the lights gracefully fell upon Alec and attached themselves to the lines draped on his body. 

 

“Those lights are your memories?” Magnus asked him.

 

“The ones filled with hope, yes.”

 

Alec smiled down at Max, “And the three of you have always been my greatest hopes. Everything I have ever done has been for you guys.”

 

“Everything?”

 

“Well,” Alec glanced up at Magnus, “up until a certain point, yes.”

 

Magnus stared at him, eyes wide with a budding hope of his own.

 

“I don’t understand.” said Simon. “What does this accomplish? Who faces justice from that?”

 

Alec tilted his head. “Are you telling me I’m doing my job wrong?” The tone of his voice changed, no longer light and airy. 

 

The balls of light above their heads darkened and lightning split them open and familiar voices spilled out, each drowning out another before anything intelligible was heard. They crashed into each other causing the sound of thunder to reverberate around the entire room.

 

“You know,” Alec started darkly, the only one unaffected by the storm, “they say hope is the most dangerous weapon of all.”

 

Flashes of Maryse belittling Alec, of Robert ignoring Alec, of Alec doing things for others only for the very same person to complain or take advantage of him flashed above their heads. 

 

Max, in the eye of the storm, saw the others face the whiplash. 

 

_ It’s okay. I can do better. I will do better. Next time I’ll make her proud. Next time he’ll notice me. Maybe I’ll do a good enough job to get a thanks next time.  _

 

Alec’s voice pierced through them all. 

 

_ If I try harder, I’ll be good enough. Just need to train harder to be worthy of  being his parabatai. I can stop making Izzy sad, I just need to change. I can be a good leader, I can make them listen if I make myself better than I am now. _

 

Izzy had tears running down her face. Jace held Clary’s hand like it was the only thing keeping him upright. Maryse had fallen to her knees. 

 

_ If I fail, it’s not because they expect too much of me- it’s because I need to do better. I can do better. I can lead this institute the way my parents think I should. I can ignore these feeli-, ignore them and they’ll go away. I can be normal.  _

 

_ The honor is in the deed, not in the name. I can do the necessary deeds to bring us honor. Maybe then she’ll be proud.  _

 

_ I can protect my siblings from everything if I just work HARDER.  _

 

_ Why does he like me? Does he really like me? He must… he does. I can be worthy of his affection. Magnus is so beautiful.. I really like him. I want to make him happy.  I can do better. I will do better…  _

 

_ Will you notice me this time? Look what I did for you. Please be good enough… _

 

_ Train, do better, lead, do better, take care of everyone, do better. _

 

_ I CAN DO BETTER! I CAN BE GOOD ENOUGH. _

 

_ I can be better, I can be better, I can be better. _

 

The mantra contained in their heads long after it had ended. 

 

Magnus broke the deafening silence first. 

 

“Oh, Alec… You are more than worthy of my love. I promise you that.”

 

And like that, the memories went back to their original state and floated down to join the others. 

 

Alec smiled and the room was filled with gentle light. 

 

Simon just stared at Alec, “What the hell? How did you go from terrifying to puppy in like one second?”

 

Alec shrugged, “I told you hope was the most dangerous weapon. It can tear you down just as easily as it can build you up.”

 

Maryse and Robert couldn’t look at Alec. Clary, Izzy, and Jace join Max in hugging him. Magnus waited until they were done then kissed his forehead. 

 

The others stayed back. 

 

“Okay Max, time to choose who goes next.” Alec said.

 

“What?”

 

“Who chooses the next door, kiddo?”

 

Max glanced at the others. “Izzy... but I don’t want to go through any more doors.”

 

Alec kissed the top of his head. “If I could keep you safe here, I would. But I don’t make the rules. I’ve had my say, time for you all to move on.”

 

Max nodded his head but didn’t lift it from Alex’s chest. He refused to open his eyes and let the others see his tears. 

 

Izzy walked towards the doors, stopped at one, changed her mind and moved on to the next. This door handle had the action rune carved into it. She didn’t look back as she opened it and walked on through. 

 

Magnus gave him one last kiss before leaving as well. Max hugged him extra tight then followed the others until only Jace was left. 

 

His hand hovered over the knob. 

 

“I never kne- I mean I never realized.”

 

“It’s okay Jace, no one did.”

 

“Yeah, but I should have… And I’m sorry.”

Jace wasn’t positive but he thought he heard Alec whisper, ‘You’re forgiven’ as he join the rest of the group in the next room. 


	4. At Ease, Solider!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is a tough instructor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, everyone! I wanted to get this to you sooner but I've had work & I've needed to catch up on HW (Bleh lol) 
> 
> Anyways, we've gotten a little darker this chapter BUT next chapter is gonna plunge into the the deep dark feels so be warned! 0.0
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The next room was the training room from the New York institution, with random additions that none of them had ever seen before. There were the normal punching bags but there were also ones in the shape of a person that stood on their own as if magic. There were placed so that they made a mismatched maze the group had to navigate to find this room’s Alec.

 

They followed the sounds of grunts and soft exhales. In the middle of the room stood Alec, wearing black pants and no shirt holding a staff. He went through the basic exercises without taking note of his audience. His back glistened with sweat and every rune shone like they were in use. 

 

“In position!” Alec cried out and Jace and Izzy stepped forward in muscle memory before hesitating.  

 

Alec turned to them, “Did I stutter? In position! Time to train!”

 

Izzy and Jace looked at each other, each with a raised brow.

 

“Both of us?”

 

Alec glowered, his frown line so deep it was as if he had not ever smiled before. 

 

“ _ Yes _ .”  

 

So they did, each grabbing a staff where they were leaning on the wall, the only one not blocked by training equipment. There was a mirror taking up most of the wall and a small part of the wall covered in writing. However, it was so blurry no one could read it and looking at it made their heads hurt. 

 

Izzy and Jace stood in front of Alec, facing each other. 

 

“What are you doing?” He hissed.

 

“Um, getting into position?” Jace wasn’t sure if he was answering Alec’s question or asking him one.

 

“No, face me. You’ll be fighting me.”

 

“Both of us?” Izzy asked. This Alec may only be a projection of his mind but she didn’t want to hurt him. 

 

Who knew what kind of damage that could cause? She thought. But it didn’t seem like he was going to just talk like the others had. They would need to earn his thoughts and feelings this time. 

 

“Yes, both of you. Now attack!”

 

So they did. 

 

They attacked together with grace. They knew each other like the back of their hands and figured they knew Alec the same... Yet... 

 

They never touched him. No matter what they did, they could not score against him.

 

He did not score but it was obvious, he was not trying to. He was clearly playing defense and not offence. After what felt like one of the longest fights of their life, the pair was out of breath and lagging and so Alec went on the attack.

 

Izzy went to kick him and Jace swung his staff at Alec’s side. Without hesitation, Alec dropped to one knee dodging both attacks and turned his staff to fit between their bodies and then dropped it down to their ankles where he pulled their feet out from under them.  

 

Once they were down, he pressed each end to their neck. 

 

“Now you’re dead,” he told them with a sneer. “Pathetic. Again!”

 

“What?!”

 

“We do this until you get it right.”

 

“So you’re the no fun Alec?” Jace joked, trying to stall getting up again. 

 

Alec huffed, “No. I am the fighter, the general, the one who keeps you safe. I am the one who protects the ones he loves with his very life.”

 

_ The mirror began showing a scene of Alec in the Institute's actual training room. The images speed by starting in the afternoon, which faded into the evening and then became the night to turn into the early morning. All the while Alec never stopped training longer than a water break. After he finally stopped and showered, he went to his room and the clock showed it to be 2 am. He spent half an hour meditating before finally getting into bed and going to sleep. He woke up and 5:45, got ready for a meeting a six am. He was the first one there. At 7 he went back to the training room. The image faded out.  _

 

The space of wall next to the mirror with the blurry writing suddenly became clear to read. On it had everyone’s  names. 

 

Izzy, Jace, and Max were in purple. Izzy’s had a crown on her I, Jace’s glowed, and Max’s was in a font unlike the others. 

 

Clary and Lydia were yellow but outlined in purple. The tips of Simon's name was in yellow but the rest had faded to grey, the bottom dripping red. There might have been another color but there was too many details to know for sure. 

 

Magnus was written in pink and purple. There was also what appeared to be bursts of magic around his name but it was too high up to be certain that was what the jagged lines were suppose to represent.  

 

Maryse, and Robert were written separate from the first seven names. They were written in navy, lighter than the others.

 

Luke, Raphael, and Jocelyn were the last set. Luke and Raphael were in green with bursts of purple but Jocelyn’s looked like it was written in grey crayon.

 

Underneath every name, except for Max’s, Maryse’s, and Robert’s had at least one dripping red line.

 

There was another word, further away: OTHERS that had the most marks, some darker than others, some black instead of red. The group had known he put everything on his shoulders but they hadn’t realized it was to this extent. 

 

There were a few more names or words but they remanded blurry, and didn’t seem likely to reveal themselves anytime soon. 

 

Alec glanced up, after everyone else began to stare.

 

“That’s there to remind me….”

 

“Remind you of what?” Magnus asked as he pondered the different colors and placement of the names.

“Every time I’ve failed one of you and you’ve almost died another line appears. It’s for every time I fail at my responsibilities during battle. They can never be erased but I can work harder to prevent new ones.”

 

There was a moment of silence as Alec glared at the wall. 

 

Then he turned his glare to his siblings, “Which is why you need to train harder. Get up and come at me again.” 

 

Magnus walked over to Alec, and put his arms around him, taking the staff out of his hands. His arms circled his chest and stomach and he kissed Alec’s shoulder. 

 

“I know you fight out of love, more than duty Alec but hurting yourself, punishing yourself for failure does nothing but hurt us too.”

 

Alec was tense as the mirror showed more memories. 

 

_ Alec almost hitting Jace with an arrow as it embedded itself into the door frame. Alec called out “My bad!” With his hand held out, like he was holding out an olive branch to the other boy instead of a weapon.   _ The very first mark under JACE glowed.

 

_ Izzy was partying with some of the Fair Folk when Alec’s name appeared on her phone telling her there was a mission. She came drunk but hid it well. A demon nearly tore her head off when she stumble in her heels, the only indicator she wasn’t sober. Alec shoot the demon with an arrow before it could touched her.  _ Under IZZY. a mark somewhere towards the middle glowed. 

 

More and more memories flashed across the mirror and the marks glowed with them. Sometime, if the memory was about a mission it would turn into a lecture from Maryse and or Robert, then their name would glow just a little.

 

_ Alec stood in front of his mother’s desk. He stood there not moving, not even to fidget, for 45 minutes. The only time he moved at all was to glance at the clock or blink. Finally, Maryse grabbed the tablet from her desk and read the report he had written earlier that day.   _

 

_ “‘Raj received an injury to his leg… The injury is non-life threatening but the doctor says he needs a week to recuperate and he will have a limp for a few days...’. Why did Raj get this injury, Alec? You were leading this mission, what happened?” _

 

_ Alec looked her in the eye, “I took my eyes off Raj while I was covering Izzy and Jace.” _

 

_ Maryse stood up and walked around the desk, staring up at her son. He seemed to shrink under her gaze.  _

 

_ “And why were you only watching them? Do you find them incompetent? Are they unable to do their jobs? Answer me, Alec.” _

 

_ “No, I do not think they are incapable of doing their jobs.” _

 

_ “Is it you then, Alec? Are you the one incompetent?”  _

 

_ Maryse slapped Alec.  _

 

_ “I think you are. The doctor also said if the wound had been a little higher, Raj could have lost his entire leg. What use is a shadowhunter without a leg, Alec?” _

 

_ “None.” _

 

_ “Exactly. You almost lost me a soldier, Alec. What kind of leader are you?”  _

 

_ Alec didn’t answer.  _

 

_ “Right now, you’re not a leader at all.” _

 

_ Maryse sat back down and grabbed a water bottle. She drank like it wasn’t water. _

 

_ “You’re dismissed,” she said, “But I expect better from you. I need you to do better if I’m ever going to give you this institute.” _

 

_ Alec nodded and left, closing the door to the sight of his mother taking another swing from her bottle.   _

 

_ He walked quickly to the training room and started his routine.  _

 

Maryse sobbed and a slap mark appeared on her cheek. 

 

“I don’t rem- I didn’t… Did I?” She babbled. 

 

Alec turned to her. 

 

“You’ve done many things you don’t remember doing...” He paused, and steeled himself, like it didn’t matter what she had or what she would say. 

 

“But as my commander, as leader of the institute it is your right. I’ve only ever had myself to blame for my punishments.”

 

Maryse took a step towards Alec but was blocked by his siblings and Magnus. 

 

Alec didn’t seem to care for the dramatic scene being played before him.

 

“I have to get back to training,” he said. “Ether train with me or move on.”

 

The silence was answer enough, “Isabelle choose. ”

 

With steel in her voice, Izzy spat out her mother’s name. 

 

Maryse trembled as the punching bags turned into doors, she quickly choose the one closest to her. 

 

On the knob was the Success rune.

 

Maryse quickly escaped one hell for another. 

 

Alec picked up his staff and looked over at the chosen door.

 

“Good luck. Don’t let your guard down in that room. He won’t hesitate to strike.”

 

They wanted to ask what he had meant but he had already gone back to his routine. 

 

Clary, Izzy and Simon held hands and Jace was carrying Max. Magnus watched them leave. He darted over to Alec and blocked his staff as he gave him a kiss. 

 

“I like the color coding,” he said, “But I wish you didn’t blame yourself for everything.”

 

And without giving Alec a chance to respond and break his heart again, Magnus joined the others in the new room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did the colors for certain things. I would love to hear what you thought about them!
> 
> P.s. If you're curious about the runes on the doors I've been using this : http://shadowhunters.com/about-shadowhunters/runes/ website to figure them out! :)


	5. Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So that happened....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so I have some tests I need to study for (sigh...) So this will be my last update for a couple of days. But I'll be updating again asap!!!
> 
> This one is inspired from a thought I had that in turn inspired the entire fic so I hope you enjoy. And for Drowningmermaid who said they hoped for things to get dark, I hope I delivered!!
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos and for all those who keep coming back for each chapter. It means so much to me.

The next room was dimly lit with spot lights all lined up in a row leading to a large throne made of gold framing and red plush. Alec laid across it, his body seemingly small as the regal future appeared to swallow him up. 

 

One leg was completely straight, his ankle resting on a glimmering arm while his other leg was bent, toes balancing on the edge of the arm while his knee was lying against the back of the throne. 

 

Following the curve of his body, Alec seemed to be the centerpiece, like how one might describe a glittering jewel in a necklace. He was wearing ink black pants, velvet by the looks of it. He wore a dark purple silk shirt with it open in a way that taunted anyone who felt even a sliver of desire for him. 

 

He wore dazzling jewels on his fingers and neck, golden chains wound around his bare feet and hands. His nails, both hands and feet, were painted purple to match his shirt and mantle that was draped across the other arm of the throne where Alec rested his head. 

 

He also wore a Emperor's crown that sat perfectly on his head. Golden lines outlined and rose above a purple plush. The golden base and lines had jewels of red and purple so well placed that it was just shy of over done. On top there was a round red glittering globe that held the lines together. Instead of the typical cross that sat atop there was a pair of wings shining so bright it caused the viewer to see dots of light when they closed their eyes.

 

Alec looked as if he had been painted onto the throne by an expert artisan. 

 

As the followed the spotlights the ones the passed began to dim, emphasizing Alec to be the main attraction. 

 

They stood before him like subjects waiting for the will of their king to be announced, in equal parts awe and trepidation.

 

Finally he fluidly rose to sit and stare down at them like they were unworthy of his time. Alec looked like a paradox, as he sat there. He still looked small compared to the throne yet somehow larger than any of them had ever seen him at the same time.

 

“What do you want?”

 

Lydia spoke without hesitation, “We want to learn what you need us to learn and then continue this journey. What do you want?”

 

“What do I want? I want you out of my head- you are not meant to be here. You are not wanted here. You are not  **worthy** of being here.”

 

When he said the word worthy, Maryse and Robert both bent over like they had been stabbed in the gut. 

 

Luke, ever the peacemaker said, “We can only leave if we follow the rules of the mirror. We need to listen to you to move on.”

 

Alec laughed, a cruel and bitter thing that bounced off the shadowy walls and into their hearts, causing everyone to shiver.

 

“And why should I care? Why should I be merciful to you?” 

 

Max looked up at his brother with tears in his eyes, “When have you ever been anything but merciful?”

 

Alec glanced at him, with pity. “And look where that’s gotten me!”

 

He stood, his hands still gripping the arms before gesturing around him.

 

“Alone! In a dark room, commanding a ghost army and fighting against the demons in my head!”

 

He looked like a wild man. The hair visible under the crown disheveled, mascara smudged and blotchy, liquid lipstick smeared. 

 

Magnus wondered how Alec could make his heart sing, even at his worst. 

 

He walked up to him and bent onto one knee and took Alec’s hands in his own, kissing every finger and then kissing his palms. 

 

“You are not alone, I promise you.”

 

“The others may not be alone but I am...” 

 

Alec shuttered, “They put me on a pedestal making damn well sure I knew it was broken and a single misstep and everything would tumble. And it would be my fault, if everything fell, no matter what previous damage had already been done.”

 

Tears, that shone like diamonds, fell down Alec’s face and onto the floor with a pitter patter sound before shattering like ice.

 

Magnus felt like weeping too.

 

Alec turned to his parents.

 

“But you were the ones who broke it! You were the ones who broke me!”

 

Alec reached around the throne and pulled out a sword the size twice of himself and threw it at the ground in front of Maryse and Robert who stared at Alec in horror. 

 

He very form became blurry as he began to shift between two versions of himself. 

 

One was the Alec they saw when the first walked in with perfect makeup and perfect clothes, who presented himself with confidence and grace.  

 

The other was battered and unkempt with the wrecked makeup they had glimpsed before and tattered clothes, his crown was crooked now and blood ran down his body and like his tears from earlier it transformed into gems before shattering on the floor. He was slouched over like the weight of the world was bearing down on him and he was the sole pillar. 

 

Magnus heard gasps from the spectators behind them but focused on the alternating Alecs. 

 

“They did this to me!” Alec waved his hands down his body, as his blood continued to play an eerie song using the floor beneath them as its instrument. 

 

“But they expect this of me!” And suddenly Alec looked like a disney prince once more, but the makeup around eyes kept shifting between art and disaster.

 

“My dear dear Alexander...”

 

Alec fell back before Magnus could continue, dragging him down as well. Alec curled into Magnus’s side and stare at the sword embedded into the floor in front of his parents. 

 

As he stared, images began to appear on both sides. They started off blurry, a common occurrence within Alec’s mind.

 

When the images cleared, the group was left with the feeling like they had missed something important. 

 

_ Alec appeared to be seven or eight years old. He was sitting outside his mother’s study, his head on his knees which were resting against his chest with his arms wrapped around them. He was listening to parents fight. There was a sound of something shattering but Alec didn’t even react, use to the noises that followed his parent’s bitter jabs at each other.  _

 

_ Robert stormed out, passing Alec as though he was invisible. To Robert, after dealing with his wife, he probably was. Alec got up silently and walked into the room. His mother was bent over the desk, her head in her hands.  _

 

_ Alec walked over to the closet where he pulled out a small broom and pan. He began to sweep up a glass bottle from the floor.  When he had gotten every last piece he walked over to the trash can and dumped it out.  _

 

_ He then sat and waited. His mother grabbed another bottle and began to drink from it.  _

 

_ “You’re father is cheating on me, baby.” _

 

_ Alec said nothing as she trailed her fingers through his hair.  _

 

_ In a sudden fit of anger she pulled his hair so hard that his head rose at least an inch. He never made a sound, he never showed discomfort. _

 

_ “I wonder how much is your fault? I know some of it is mine, but not all of it. He dotes on your sister. He loves her, he stays for her. But he doesn't even notice you, does he? So some of it must be your fault...” _

 

_ Alec grabbed his mother’s hand and lead her out of the room.  She stumbled a bit, but Alec never said a word, just let her use his shoulder to steady herself.  _

 

_ He took her to her bedroom and pulled out her nightgown and handed it to her. We went into the bathroom connected to her quarters and hopped onto the sink to reach for the painkillers in the medicine cabinet. He put four in his hand and then put them beside him  _

 

_ He then grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He carefully slid off the counter and grabbed the glass and painkillers. He walked over to Maryse who was sitting on the bed, looking at the wall with a blank look. He handed her two pills which she quickly swallowed, he gave her the glass of water and put the other two pills on the dresser near the bed.  _

 

_ After she was finished with the water, he went back into the bathroom to refill it which he then place next to the remaining pills.  _

 

_ He pulled the covers over her as she settled into bed.  _

 

_ “You’re such a good son, sweetie. I don’t know what I do without you… My little prince… I love you, you, you know that right?” _

 

_ Her words were begin to slur.  _

 

_ “My little prince…. You  need to be perfect, if you’re going to restore our family name. You need to promise me you’ll be perfect, okay? I  _ **_need_ ** _ you to do this for me.” _

 

_ Alec nodded and then left the room, turning off the lights and closing the door behind him. _

 

_ He then made his way to another room where his father was passed out, half on, half off a bed. Alec took the bottle that was falling out of his hand and pulled him up all the way onto the bed.  _

 

_ He left after placing a blanket over him. _

 

_ He disposed of the bottle. _

 

_ Alec walked into his sister’s room where he found her asleep on the floor. He picked her up even though she was almost two thirds  his size and put her into her bed. He kissed her forehead. _

 

_ As he walked to his bedroom, Alec stayed silent. When he finally got there he threw himself onto his bed and wept. _

 

Maryse was a mess, with her hair all messed up like someone had yanked it roughly out of her usual bun. 

 

She was openly crying and Robert had turned away from the rest of the group. 

 

Everyone was dismayed and unable to look at either of them calmly and without judgement. 

 

Alec laughed, but it sounded inhumane, like he was choking instead of laughing.

 

“Am I still your prince, mother? Now that I”ve ruined all your plans? Do you still love me?”

 

Maryse, as though in shock, slid to the floor with her eyes wide and unseeing and did not respond. 

 

The sword was not done though. It showed scene after scene of Maryse and Robert getting drunk and Alec picking up the pieces without complaint.

 

The sword became blurry again and Alec’s perfect front faded in and out as the images changed. Finally new images presented themselves. 

 

_ Maryse chewed out Alec for something Jace or Izzy did. Alec didn’t give them the blame or defend himself. _

 

_ Robert patted Alec on the shoulder then went to talk to Izzy. Neither noticed when he left the room.  _

 

_ Alec staring in the mirror and telling himself, “This is your role. Play it right and everything stays on track. Stay on track and everyone’s safe and everyone’s happy…. Everyone else…. Wear the crown, wear the burden with pride.”  _

 

_ He’s fifteen and running the entire insitute while his parents are aways as well as caring for his younger siblings. He says nothing as they have fun and he works on paperwork well into the night. _

 

As the final memory started, Maryse broke the silence as she sobbed. 

 

_ Alec is eighteen and his mother is drunk again. Sometimes the only way to sleep in to drown out the world, the memories, the judgment around her. She’s passed out at her desk, bottle intact but spilling out onto the carpet. Alec picked her up and like he had been doing for over a decade, he took her to her bedroom and put her to bed.  _

 

_ As he lays her down, she mutters up at him, “When did you grow up?” _

 

_ Alec knew she wouldn’t remember this conversation tomorrow and felt brave enough to say, “When was I ever a child?” _

_ “Oh my baby, my perfect little prince. Soon you’ll be all grown up with a wife and children of your own… You’ll make me so proud, you always make me proud… eventually...” _

 

_ “Of course mom. I know what to do.” _

 

_ “I know you do baby. I wish I could love that part of you, Alexander… But I can’t... It would ruin us, you understand , don’t you? You must keep it secret, or it will ruin us all. Tell me you understand, Alexander, tell me you understand.” _

 

_ “I understand. Good night mother.” _

 

_ “Good night, my perfect prince” _

 

_ Alec went back to her study and scrubbed the alcohol out of her carpet. By morning it would be like it had never happened.  _

 

_ He walked to his own room, slowly. After closing the door, he slid down it, his head hanging in defeat. He grabbed a small wooden chest from the bottom drawer of the cabinet next to his door.  _

 

_ Inside had a tablet which he turned on then places aside. Also inside was a dagger and a packet of wet wipes. Alec opened an app on his tablet marked youtube.  _

 

_ The song Around by Russell Elliot played as Alec during certain points of the song, understood only by Alec, would bring the dagger to his skin and cut. He would carve a pattern into his skin with the dagger. Never a straight line but elegant curves, as beautiful as they were ugly Never deep enough to scar, just enough to make him bleed.  _

 

_ Alec cried as he made the marks. When the song finished, he cleaned the blade and his skin then drew an iratze. He put the items back into the chest and then back into the bottom drawer.  _

 

_ He cried himself to sleep.  _

 

Alec dislodged himself from Magnus, more a mess than ever. Blood gushed out of his arms and legs, round rips in a line down his sleeves and pants that echoed the wounds on his skin like the spotlights that had lead them there. 

 

“You did this to me… These holes are from the strings you use to control me with. You couldn’t stand me cutting them so you ripped them out of me instead. That way I couldn’t heal.. But you, you all, still expect me to be the perfect soldier, the perfect son, the perfect heir… the perfect little prince… ”

 

He trailed off, bent over in pain.

 

“So I am constantly in a state of distress, forced between the wounds that can not heal and the role I can no longer fill. It’s tearing me apart and all you ever do is put more on me and watch me stubble…

 

“I am not some toy, a puppet for you to control, or to play with. I am my own person. I have my own life. But you forgot about that didn’t you? Tell me, was I ever good enough for you? Or was the title of prince just meant to mock me as the part I could never play? ”

 

Maryse opened her mouth, then closed it. There was nothing for her to say. 

 

Alec sighed, use to the silence. 

 

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve said my piece. Now leave. I don’t want you here anymore...”

 

They others shuffled towards him in hopes of offering comfort. 

 

“I said LEAVE! Pick a door, and LEAVE!” Alec reached up and grabbed his crown then threw it onto the ground. It shattered and the jewels went flying, each becoming its own door. 

 

“Robert, pick a door.” Maryse told her husband, with urgency in her voice.

 

Robert didn’t hesitate grabbing the nearest door, yanking it open and entering as quickly as he could. Maryse followed without looking back. The others glanced at Alec with rage unleashed in his eyes and despair written into his face and left to avoid worsening the situation. 

 

But they did so with a heavy heart. 

 

Only Magnus stayed, still on the throne.

 

“You can’t save me, Magnus. I’m shattered, maybe you can save the others but not me.”

 

“Aren’t you all one? You do make up Alec after all.”

 

The others may have fled this room in fear, but he had never been afraid of his shadowhunter.

 

“Not in here. In here, we are each our own.”

 

Alec turned to him, seemingly perfect once more. 

 

“I love you, and you love me. But love is not enough to fix me. Maybe it’s enough for the others- I wouldn’t know, I never get any company in here. I must stand alone.”

 

“No you don’t. You don’t need to be alone.”

 

Alec smiled, the very first since they had first entered. 

 

“You may not be able to fix me, but you do give me peace. When ever he is around you, I fade to almost non-existence and I know peace if only for a moment. Thank you for that.”

 

Magnus rested his head on Alec’s shoulder. “I hate that non-existence is your idea of peace.”

 

Alec kissed the top of his head and muttered, “I know”, but offered no other comfort.

 

“You should continue on now. Catch up to the others.”

 

“I don’t want to leave you alone” 

 

“I know, but you must. You can’t stay here and I can not leave.”

 

And so Magnus did, though every step felt like torture.  

 

As he grabbed the open door handle, he took note of the Expectation rune and thought nothing good could come out of that. 

 

“I love you”

 

“I love you too, now go”

 

And he did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! This one was longer, but evens out me not updating for a few days (hopefully). 
> 
> I hoped you liked it!! 
> 
> P.S. Around is an amazing song with an awesome video! You should check it out!


	6. Rock-a-Bye Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Alec!!!
> 
> So Alec is somewhere between 3 and 4 and Izzy is somewhere between 8 months and a year. I don't know the age gap between them cannonly so I'm guessing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greeting Everyone!
> 
> So I apologize for the delay but Spring Semester started and it has been crazy! [Psst guess what?? I got A's in both my winter classes!! YAY!!]
> 
> However, I wanted to update and give you guys something so I decided to split this door into two chapters (which might actually make it overall longer so maybe it's a good thing? Idk...)
> 
> But I hope you enjoy and I will try to post part 2 as soon as possible!

Magnus stepped into a nursery.

 

He blinked, surprised. Nope. Still a nursery. 

 

There was a crib in the middle of the room, and a baby girl in a pink and purple onesies was all curled up asleep on a fluffy yellow blanket.

 

Magnus’s children were all teens and adults when he had taken them under his wing so he didn’t have much experience with babies. If he had to guess he would assume the baby to be less than a year in age.

 

A little boy sat in front of the crib keeping watch over the peacefully sleeping form. 

 

Magnus closed the door behind him and though he tried to be quiet, the little boy still heard and turned around and brought his finger to his lips.

 

“She’s sleeping” he mouthed. Magnus knew he was suppose to feel chastised but all he felt was a deep sense of affection. 

 

Even as a child, his Alec was always taking care of others. 

 

Raphael took note of the way the tension in Magnus bleed out as he quietly inched towards Alec, taking small careful steps to avoid startling the little boy.

 

Raphael figured the last room had done a number on all who loved the boy, but especially Magnus. Yet in here, he all but melted into the floor as he sat down. 

 

The better dressed of the two vampires on this  _ little adventure  _ into the subconscious of Alec figured it might be due to the fact that despite the last room housed a broken and bleeding Alec this room held the most vulnerable Alec they had encountered so far. 

 

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping too?” Magnus asked, voice hushed as he whispered.

 

“I’m watching for monsters” he replied, eyes darting to the sides before as if even mentioning them would bring them out of the dark. 

 

“But we’re in the institute aren’t we? You’ll both be safe here.”

 

Alec glanced up at Magnus, fear glossing up his eyes. 

 

“We weren’t safe in Indris… why would we be here? I saw monsters there all the time. My parents don't believe me, they think I want attenton…. Attentin...”

 

“Attention, darling.”

 

Alec nodded, with the assurance only a child could possess before continuing on.

 

“But I saw one here too.” Alec brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his little arms around them.

 

“You did?” Magnus prompted.

 

“Mhm. I woke up and a shadow was sitting on my bed.”

 

Everyone but Robert and Maryse, who even after all these years of knowing him still believed him to be a child giving into fanciful thoughts, felt a trickle of fear go down their backs. 

 

“That must of been scary,” Magnus said, his voice wavering as he hoped that the assumptions building up in the back of his mind were wrong.  

 

Alec shrugged. “It’s happened before, I just don’t want it to happen to Izzy. That’s why I got ta protect her. ” 

 

Alec stood up and walked over to the crib. 

 

He placed his face inbetween the bars and said, “Hodge believed me. He said if my parents couldn’t protect her then it was up to me. So I came and make sure the shadow doesn’t get to her.”

 

Most of the group’s hearts broke. He was too young to be burdened by this responsibility.

 

“I believe you too,” Magnus told him and Alec turned and beamed.  

 

“Thank you.” 

 

“You’re welcome, and I think you’re very brave to watch over your sister.”

 

“It’s not brave,” Alec countered, “I just love her.”

 

Izzy had tears in her eyes as she walked over, bent down and hugged him. 

 

Alec leaned into the embrace and for a moment, he sounded older than he even normally did.

 

“I just want for you to grow up happy and safe. I want you to have everything you ever want and need. I want you to always feel loved and supported. I want that for you, even if I never have it for myself.”

 

But Alec had already turned from the grown version of his sister, back to his  _ little  _ little sister. 

 

As if waiting for his attention, baby Izzy then stood up in her crib and started crying. Alec left his sister’s embrace and walked to the left, swallowed by the shadows on the walls.

 

A ghost of a woman that resembled their mother walked into the room and picked Isabelle up. She walked over to a rocking chair to the right of the crib and rocked her back and forth.

 

Alec reappeared with a bottle which he handed over to the woman. 

 

She was faded out like an old photograph or the memory of a person you longer recognize when you look at them. 

 

It was hard to look at her face, like it was out of focus. 

 

After feeding Isabelle, the woman that was once Maryse stood up and burped her daughter. 

 

As she rose a sheet of glass began to cover the rocking chair. 

 

By the time she placed baby Isabelle back into her crib, it was completely covered with a frosty gloss.

 

Baby Izzy yawned and went back to sleep.

 

Another ghost entered the room. It was probably Robert… it was difficult to be certain since this apparition appeared to have hair.  

 

“You need to go to bed,” A faded version of Robert’s voice echoed off the walls but the image of his did not move his lips. 

 

“Your mother and I expect more of you, do you understand? It’s time to grow up and stop these delusions.”

 

Alec didn’t respond or look over at his father. 

 

The projected memory of a man darted over to young Alec and grabbed his chin, forcing Alec to look up at him. 

 

“Do you understand me? Your sister will be fine and I expect you to be in bed when I tell you it’s time for sleep.”

 

Still no reply. 

 

He sighed in aggravation and swiftly rose, yanking Alec by the arm. As he walked away from the crib the scenery around the group changed, revealing a room with blank walls. It was bare except for a small bed, a dresser and a small table with a lamp and an alarm clock on it.

 

“You’re a big boy now, it’s time to act like it and stop acting out.”

 

The image of Robert, long since changed and long since forgotten faded out with the sound of a door locking. 

 

Alec sat on the bed, head down and looking down at a piece of ice in his hands, broken off from the icy chair from the nursery. 

 

Alec’s shoulders shook but no tears fell and no sounds escaped him.

 

The shard of ice glowed and like an old film on the silver screen an image began to flicker in and out above his head. 


	7. Don't You Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shard of ice reveals some dark secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, ya'all. I am sooo sorry for the wait time but I have unfortunately been a bit overwhelmed. 
> 
> School is fun but it is hard, as I'm sure you may know. _._' 
> 
> But on the bright side I'm transferring soon and I got into almost all the schools I applied to so YAY :D
> 
> For everyone who has read this, thank you for taking the time to read it. It means a lot as an author for you to chose my work to read. 
> 
> For all those who gave it a kudos, thank you for letting me know you enjoyed it. It keeps me motivated to come back to this story. 
> 
> For all who commented, I want you to know that i read every one and they all made me smile, and happy, and inspired me to write more. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy and please forgive my inconsistent presence! I promise I'll update as soon as I can.
> 
> And so, on with the story....

The shard of ice glowed and like an old film on the silver screen an image began to flicker in and out above his head.

 

Scenes began to play in black and white. 

 

_ Robert ignored Alec as he shot 10 perfect bullseyes in a row but praised Isabelle as she presented her skills on the whip. Alec slowly slipping away and no one noticing.  _

 

_ Robert scolding Alec for playing with Isabelle instead of learning runes.  _

 

_ Maryse pulling Alec aside, whispering into his ear. Alec kept his eyes glued to the ground and nodded dejectedly.  _

 

In every scene a dark shadow followed Alec around. 

 

Magnus turned to Maryse.

 

“Who did you hired to do your wards before me?”

 

Maryse looked away, “...Iris Rouse.”

 

“Are you kidding me?!” Magnus exclaimed.

 

“You’re constantly talking shit about me to Alec about my reputation but what, you never bothered to look into hers? Or you just didn’t care?”

 

Maryse squared her shoulders before answering, “She owed us a favor… She did it for free.” 

 

“Oh so money was more important than your people, your family?” 

 

“No! That’s not, that’s not true!” Maryse screeched at Magnus. “I love my family! Everything I have ever done has been for my family!”

 

“You love them so much you let a woman known for messing with the dark arts set up the wards around your institute and then ignored your son complaining about shadows following him around?”

 

“He claimed he saw them in Indris too! How were we to know that he wasn’t just looking for attention.”

“In Indris, when the last of the circle members were being rounded up, perhaps?” Magnus sneered. 

 

Maryse and Robert’s bodies sagged against each other as they took comfort from the only other person in the room who could stand to look at them. 

 

Magnus turned away and watched little Alec stare into the shard of ice. 

 

“Hey there, Sweetheart,” Alec looked up at Magnus with a guarded look. “Is this what you wanted us to see? The shadow?”

 

“I don’t know” Alec lower lip wobbled and tears began to overflow over his cheeks. “ ** _I_** **_don’t know_**.”

 

Magnus gathered him into his arms.

 

“It’s okay, Darling. It’s okay. You don’t need to know.”

 

“Doesn’t he, though?” Jocelyn interjected, “In order for us move on.”

 

Five pairs of eyes turned to glared at her.

 

“I’m  _ Sooooorrrrry _ ”, Alec wailed. 

 

“No, no dear. Shhh, you have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart.” Magnus rocked Alec back and forth in his arms.

 

Alec buried his face in Magnus’s shoulder and mumbled something. 

 

“What was that dear?”

 

“Are you still gonna love us, after this? Are you still gonna love me?”

 

“Of course I am. Nothing could make me stop loving you. Nothing.”

 

Alec looked back at the fragment of ice in his hands.

 

“How can you know that? You haven’t seen everything.”

 

“I don’t need to, to know you are worth loving through thick and thin.”

 

Alec began to shake, his hand moving so fast it practically vibrated and stood up on the bed. He threw his arm back and flung the shard of frost at the bare wall in front of him which shattered against it, raining down like a fistful of diamonds thrown in the air. The fragments spreading across the wall making an intricate screen upon the bright white surface. 

 

_ Suddenly, young Alec appeared on the screen. He couldn’t have been more than eight or nine years old, but held himself up with the same strength that embodies a grown warrior marching into battle.  _

 

_ He held an elaborately adorned book under one arm, a curious shadow following him as he snuck out of his room and into the library. _

 

_ Alec placed the book in front of him and sat with his legs crossed. He opened the book to the precise page he wanted without looking at it as he pulled a vial out of his pocket. He poured out the herb like contents around himself and the book.  _

 

_ He read the passage on the right side of the left page outloud and the shadow took form of a man instead of the blob it had been before. A ring of light surrounded it and it made a hissing noise at the young boy before him.  _

 

“Usually a warlock is needed for this ritual but due to the fact that a warlock bonded you to me I can actually do this myself. I think… I guess we’ll find out.” Alec shrugged and the shadow hissed in response.

 

_ “Uh. Mr. Demon? Who has bounded to you to me?”  _

 

_ The hissing got louder.  _

 

**_“Who has bounded you to me?”_ ** _ Alec’s may have shaken, a little, out of the demon’s sight but his voice did not. _

 

_ “Iris Rouse.” The demon spoke sibilantly. _

 

_ “Why?”  _

 

The demon somehow managed to respond with an amused yet monotone sounding reply. 

 

_ “Why, to break you of course.” _

 

_ Alec glared, fire burning strong in his gaze. _

 

_ “What’s the larger goal? What’s your purpose?”  _

 

_ “She wants a shadowhunter under her control. Lucky you, she chose you.” _

 

_ Alec took a deep breath, “Why?” _

 

_ The demon’s chuckle bounced off the walls, echoing around them.  _

 

_ “What do I care, as long as she keeps paying.” _

 

_ The demon’s head turned towards the ground, and though there were no eyes to give away where he was looking Alec knew. _

 

_ “I bet I’ll get a bonus, by bringing her that book. Too bad it didn’t tell you that that potion runs out pretty quick, the barriers almost gone, little one.” _

 

_ Alec shrugged, glancing at the narrowing circle.   _

 

_ “The book doesn’t say it but Annemette did, when she gave it to me. She also gave me these.” _

 

_ He pulled out two more vials, one he threw at the book and other at the demon just as the circle around him faded away completely. Both the book and the demon disappeared in a cloud of smoke.  _

 

_ The demon’s last word lingered in the room and on him long after Alec returned to bed.  _

 

_ “This isn’t over, little one. I’ll be back.” _

 

Magnus, Jace, Izzy, Max, Clary, and Simon had all found a way to wrap themselves around little Alec who shivered in their arms. 

 

“He did come back and hurt him.”

 

“Who, darling?”

 

“The other me.”

 

Jace ran his hand through Alec’s hair and Izzy kissed his forehead. Max held his hand while Alec yawned and leaned into Magnus, Clary and Simon acting as a shield, hiding him from sight. Lydia stood by the bed, daring anyone to get close. 

 

“He’ll break a part of us. How can you love someone so broken?”

 

“You’re not unlovable because you’re broken dear. ” Magnus said, “You are loved for who you are and though I wish you had never gone through any of this I will always love you and be proud of you for surviving all you went through, coming out stronger than before.”

 

As the others voiced their agreement, the frost covered screen shattered again, each piece becoming a door. 

 

Alec sighed, exhaustion clear in his voice, weariness clinging to  his body like a wet blanket.

 

“I’m  _ tiiired _ , I want you should go now.”

 

The group disentangled themselves from him and his bed as he looked through Robert. 

 

“Pick someone.”

 

“Jocelyn.” He said without looking at her.

 

Jocelyn, ignored the others and chose a door. 

 

She glanced down at the knob, “Alliance. Hmm.”

 

“What?” Lydia asked. 

 

“Nothing”, She responded and walked through her chosen door. 

 

Maryse and Robert paused, Maryse reaching out a hand to her eldest son. 

 

“I’m tired mommy, daddy. Please go away.”

 

And so they did, their heads down, shoulder slumped, and minds heavy with regret. 

 

The others all left quietly, first Luke and Raphael and then the others after giving Alec a kiss goodnight and goodbye.

 

All except for Magnus, whose hand Alec held.

 

“After that I did my research about Iris Rouse and then asked my mom in front of others why we were employing someone who practiced dark arts. She wasn’t hired again and I didn’t see the demon for a while.”

 

“My Alec, always so smart and resourceful.”

 

Alec beamed at him and dropped his hand, his piece said and done, but Magnus had one more question.

 

“Is Annemette  the one who told you about the Empathy Mirrors?”

 

Alec nodded. “She believed me, when I said something was wrong and lent me the book, asked her warlock friend for those potions.” 

 

Alec shifted from his three year old self to his eight year old self in a blink of an eye. 

 

“You can’t let them know, okay?”

 

“Let who know what, sweetheart?”

 

“Them, you can’t let them know her secret. I promised. We can’t let them know or she’ll be in danger.” 

 

Alec shifted back to his younger self. He did this a few more times before saying, “Promise you won’t let the other me tell them. Promse.”

 

While not knowing what exactly, or why he was promising, Magnus knew that the fact that it was so important to Alec was enough for him to promise, pinkies locked together.

 

“Thank you...” The tension bleed out of him and he finally settled as his younger self. 

 

Magnus kissed his forehead, as the others had done before walking out the open door, hand held tightly around his mouth as to not let his rising sobs disturb the now peacefully sleeping boy he was forced to leave behind alone in his own personal nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finishing this pretty early in the morn with no beta so there may be errors. If so I apologize, I plan to look over it again in the morning and correct any mistakes I see. :)
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! :D


	8. Ring Around a Rosie, Pocket Full of Posies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes a completely different turn as it builds up to the dramatic reveal of some long kept secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am, once again, splitting up the chapter, as I do not have time to write this in its completion before I go on a school trip for a week and I wanted to update before I left. 
> 
> To all who have read, kudos, or commented: Thank you one and all, you make all the ideas that are jumbled up in my head onto paper (I know it's not really paper but that's the expression) the most wonderful of experiences. <3 <3 <3 
> 
> I hope you enjoy and I'll update again when I get back!

When Magnus entered the new room he was greeted by the sight of Alec, no longer a child, but not quite an adult either.

 

If Magnus had to place him at an age, he would think this Alec was 15 maybe 16. 

 

He was sitting alone in a meeting room, the glass walls separating him from the rest of them. He was listening to music and reading a book, a backpack thrown on the table in front of him. 

 

Alec was a vibrant sight of color, a beautiful dark green shirt, black pants with various zippers and adornments each a different color than the last, and his hair had green stripes scattered throughout.

 

A translucent Maryse entered the glass meeting room. The door remained closed though the group witnessed a transparent version of the door swing close. 

 

“I’ll be joining you at today’s meeting..”

 

Alec pulled one earbud out and raised a single eyebrow at his mother.

 

“Why?”

 

“Annemette’s mother is joining the meeting today and if a member, an important member of the clave feels the need to sit in on your meeting than I believe I should be there as well.”

 

Maryse gave Alec a glance over. “Can’t you wear something other than black?”

 

Alec shrugged, playing with one of the zippers on him pants, a small knowing smile gracing his lips as he ducked him head.

 

“Nettie got them for me.”

 

“You know Alec, Annemette would make a good wife...”

 

Alec shrugged again. 

 

Maryse sighed and swiftly left the room, disappearing completely as soon as she crossed the doorway. Alec gathered his things and followed. 

Suddenly, a portal appeared beneath everyone’s feet. The group feel in, it was so unexpected they didn’t even have time to scream or react beyond a collective gasp being ripped from their lungs and lips. 

 

They all landed on their feet, gracefully, except for Maryse and Robert who stumbled, the mirrors’ power taking its toll on them. 

 

There was another room, not unlike the one they had just left but there were posters on the walls and a chalkboard off to the side. It was filled with ghost like people, sitting around an oval table with a young girl sitting at the head, this younger Alec to her right.  

 

The group entered the room, unable to understand anything being said, but being overwhelmed at the volume of the muttering. 

 

The girl had wavy strawberry blonde hair with streaks of blue and purple running through the long strands. She had bright green eyes and wore no make up save for a pretty red lipstick. She wore a fitted white suit jacket and pants with a black shirt and gold bowtie. She had a noticeable birthmark, which almost looked like a shadow against her pale skin, under her right eye which someone had outlined in glitter. 

 

No one blinked an eye at her apparel, but then, neither did anyone at Alec’s. 

 

If one looked closely, they could detect the swirls of magic lingering on the two of them. Powerful but subtle. The young lady winked at Alec and he responded with the brief appearance of a smirk before presenting himself as emotionless.

 

She did the same, calling the meeting to order. Maryse and another woman stood in the corner watching the young adults talk. 

 

The woman next to the memory of Maryse held a clipboard and took notes. 

 

When the meeting ended, the group had no clear notions to what they had just witnessed, and everyone left except for the girl, Alec, and a young man who had been sitting to her left. He appeared to be a few years older than Alec and the girl. Memory Maryse nodded at her son before leaving too, the other woman ignoring them all completely. 

 

Alec’s entire body dropped, as he leaned into the girl, “Hi Nettie,” he sighed into her shoulder. 

 

The corner of her lip twitched up, “Hello Alec,” she responded. 

 

The other young man, handsome with tan skin and a bright smile, black hair with a single pink stripe and baby blues, kissed the girl’s forehead and ran his hand over Alec’s hair.

 

The girl smiled briefly at him before frowning. “Am I the only one getting bad vibes about this mission?” she asked.

 

Both boys shook their heads. 

 

The girl bit her lip.

 

“Mom won’t listen to me. Any luck on your end, Mabuz?” 

 

“Nope!”

 

Magnus was surprised that the two were siblings. Beyond both being lovely, they looked nothing alike. Well, they did both have... Interesting names so there was that. 

 

“Do you think your mother will talk to ours if you ask, Alec?”

 

“No, but I can try.”

 

The two of them faded out while Alec vanished. After a moment Alec reappeared in the corner of the room while the others slowly filled in around him. 

 

“What did your mother say?”

 

Alec tipped his head back and sighed, “She brushed me off.”

 

The girl, Nettie, made a sound of frustration. Her brother chuckled at her. 

 

“Well, we all know I’m  _ always  _ right even though no one  _ ever  _ listens to me, and I know  _ something's  _ off so I’m gonna go call my girlfriend so she can calm me down. I’ll see you guys at sunset.” 

 

Nettie stormed off while the others watched in fond amusement. 

 

Mabuz chewed on his lower lip before ducking down, slow, as to give Alec time to back away. Alec’s eyes grew wide as Mabuz kissed him softly. 

Alec closed his eyes and kissed back and it wasn’t until Mabuz pulled back before he started sputtering. 

 

“Wha-what- what was that?!”

 

Mabuz laughed, gently, kindly, as to not startled Alec further. 

 

“Nettie’s right, something about this mission feels weird, and I didn’t want to die without having kissed you.”

 

Alec’s eyes widened again, and his traced his lips with his finger tips before looking up at the other boy. 

 

“Don’t say that- you’re not going to die… why?”

 

“You never know, and because I like you silly.”

 

A goofy grin wormed itself onto Alec’s face, “Yeah?”

 

Mabuz nodded, “In fact, if we make it out of this mission alive, I’d like to take you out on a date.”

 

Alec beamed, “When we make it out alive, you can.”

 

Without warning, everything went black. 

 

Screams filled the room, the group huddled together, holding onto each other for support. 

 

Grunts and cries echoed and while the sound of crashing swords were heavily carried through the air.

 

The lights flicked back on, one by one. 

 

All the ghostly shadowhunters who had been present at the meeting were frozen in mid-battle, their opponents demons triple their size, surrounding them on all ends in some warehouse, somewhere. 

 

Nettie’s arm was thrown back with a throwing dagger in hand and Mabuz was stabbing a demon in the side with his seraph sword. 

 

Alec sat on a crate, staring at the visitors in his mind, with a bittersweet, crazed look in his eyes and a painful smile gracing his lips. 

 

“Are you enjoying the performance?”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose all names very carefully 
> 
> Annemette means 'Bitter Pearl'
> 
> &
> 
> Mabuz means 'Ruler of Death Castle'
> 
> And you find out why they are named what they name in the continuation of "Empathy Mirror"!
> 
> But that's all for now, folks, hope you liked it!


	9. Ashes, Ahes... They All Fall Down!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ummmmmm.... I'm sorry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned to civilization to bring you the newest chapter! 
> 
> Hope you like it but bewarned, there is death and sadness within this chapter. Its a bit of a dozzy. 
> 
> This door is actually going to be split into three chapters because it was getting to be too long and I wanted to update since I have returned from the wilderness lol. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed it!

“What?” Jace asked.

 

Everyone stared as Alec rested his arms on his spread legs, one arm straight up, his head resting on his hand.

 

“I asked if you were enjoying the show?” 

 

His eyes were hazy, his lids only half open giving him a dazed, blissed out appearance completed by a lazy grin. 

 

“I don’t understand,” Isabelle chimed in, “What’s going on?”

 

Alec jumped up, spread out his arms, and twirled around in a circle. 

 

“This is my stage, my dear!” 

 

“Why are you acting so strange?” Lydia question.

 

Alec smiled at her, but his gaze seemed to go through her.

 

“Simple, darling, I’m one of a kind.”

 

Magnus’s left brow rose. “Aren’t you all? Isn’t that the point?”

 

Alec laughed merrily, “Well, yes, I suppose that’s true… but I’m one of a kind even among the others.”

 

He winked at Magnus and grabbed his hand, pulling him close. He brought his hand up to his lips and kissed each finger as music slowly started playing in the background. 

 

Alec began to sway with Magnus in his arms, until the music picked up and he started to waltz with him. 

 

“The other me’s have no sense of vision! Where’s the passion, the dramatic flare watching the memories in 2-D when you can be immersed into the story itself? Why would I be like all the others, when I can be well, me?”

 

Alec’s laugh was filled with delight as he continued to spin them around.

 

“Now Angel Boy is a bit too ethereal, too rigid to waste too much of his time on you lot- no offense of course.” 

 

Alec’s sweet smile and amused eye roll soften the blow of his statement. 

 

“Solider is to stern, set in his ways to loosen up and get creative. Princy’s a little too.. How do I phrase this nicely? Melodramatic? To put something like this together without it all falling apart.”

 

He brought Magnus back to the others before running towards the crate and jumping back on, twirling back towards them after landing. He rose to the tips of his toes and clasped his hand together behind his back, stretching his arms out wide. 

 

“And mini-me? Well, he’s too young to know any better.” 

 

Alec giggled and rocked back on heels of his feet.

 

“So I decided it was up to me to give you all the full experience! Especially since you never know who you’ll get next!”

 

The group exchanged looks, except for Magnus who kept his eyes fixed on this carefree bubbly Alec, wondering how much of this Alec had been broken and kept silent from years of dealing with his oppressive parents… Wondering how much time and how many reassurances it would take before Alec felt safe enough around him to let this side of him free. 

 

“Well… that’s nice of you...” Jocelyn said awkwardly. 

 

Alec beamed at her, completely ignoring her wary tone of voice. 

 

“Well, that’s all I have to say about that, wouldn’t do to have the others mad at me, now would it? And as you all know, the show  _ must  _ go on!”

 

And with that Alec clapped, the lights going dark before flickering back on again.

 

The other shadowhunters stilled appeared as translucent but their eyes and hair were slowly filled in with color, strikingly vibrant against their ghost like appearance.

 

Any wounds they had also filled with color, drawing the groups attention to the bright streaks of red against transparent skin amongst the 15 or so young shadowhunters who were on this mission.

 

One shadowhunter was kneeling down off to the side, next to another nephilim who was lying on the ground, not moving.

 

Alec, was still standing on the crate, his bow drawn back and his arrow ready to fire.

 

He winked, or at least Magnus thought he did, it was too quickly to be sure, just before the battle resumed. 

 

Battle cries and screams once again filled the air as the group watched on in horror as the shadowhunter were overwhelmed by the seemingly never ending demons and demolished.

 

One by one, the young warriors fell, their bodies returning to a state of color and solidity as they hit the ground before their ghosts appeared, once again completely see through in a circle around the group. The color in their hair and eyes once more faded and lusterless but their wounds still bright and undeniable, alarmingly lingering in color against their lifeless skin.

 

Those still breathing huddled closer together, as the dead closed in around them. 

 

Alec, still on his crate gave cover to those still fighting. 

 

Annemette was surrounded by three demons on all sides as she threw her daggers at them, which acted like boomerangs always returning to her hand after a throw.

 

Mabuz had a large gash through his side and was breathing heavily as he was backed into a corner by an ashy like blob of smoke that forced it’s way into his mouth. 

 

Annemette killed two of the demons next to her before the one behind her tore into her back, Alec immediately shot and killed it before turning to shot another before it came down on a girl with dark hair. Annemette stumbled but did not fall. 

 

A woman in a long black sleeveless dress materialized in the middle of the chaos. 

 

Mabuz walked over to his sister and the woman watched with a smirk as the demon inside him grabbed her but her bunned up hair and threw her into the crate Alec was standing on. 

 

He was about to jump down when she yelled for him to stay at his post. So he did, body tense like he was ready to disobey orders at any moment even as he continued to fire arrows.  

 

Mabuz or his body at least stalked towards her,  _ “I’m going to tear out your heart and eat, little one.” _

 

“Ha,” She replied spitting out blood, “I’d like to see you try.”

 

She dodged as he lunged at her and they began a game of cat and mouse. She manage to kick it away twice before it grabbed her retreating foot and threw her to the ground. 

 

It dove on to her and placed its fingers on her chest right over her heart, smelled her, then whispered in her ear, 

 

“ _ You’re a rare treat, I’ll savor you. _ ”

 

Annemette used her elbow to knock its hand away and rolling them over and the escaping reach. 

 

“No you won’t,” Her daggers began to glow and the demon hissed. She threw one at its leg and it gave out, making the demon kneel in front of  her. 

 

“You know, you’re just hurting your own, by doing that.”

 

Annemette threw another into its other thigh and its other leg collapsed as well, it now on its knees.  

 

“He’ll be fine,” she responded, voice strong yet trembling just a little, just enough for it to hear her fear. 

 

“ _ You think so, huh? _ ” It crackled as it pierced Mabuz’s through his chest with its hand before Annemette even had the chance to let out a terror-stricken scream, paralyzed to the spot as Alec turned just in time to see the demon yank Mabuz’s heart out his chest. 

 

Annemette howled out a traumatized  **_NoooOooo,_ ** as she fell to all fours in unison with her brother’s body hitting the floor. 

 

The strange woman laughed, a laugh too beautiful for such a dark and tragic time, and for such a wicked person. No one noticed the string of smoke climbing up and around her leg. 

 

Only Annemette and Alec looked at her as she shrugged and said, “ _ Honestly _ ,  _ I was aiming for you two but this works as well, I suppose. I hope your parents suffer as much as they made me suffer.”  _

And with that she was gone.

 

Annemette looked at the bodies around her, including her brother, and let out a dry sob before grabbing the two daggers that had fallen next to her and three in her back pocket. She pulled one over her hand, rubbing the blood over it before throwing it to one of the corners of the warehouse. She repeated this action with three of the four remaining daggers. The finals one she placed the tip on the ground after soaking it with blood as well. She drew a few runes, the dagger acting as a stele, on the ground and drew a rune on her on her undamaged hand before pressing her bloody hand to the runes beneath her.

 

The result was a burning light that tore away at the demons bodies allowing the few remaining

Shadowhunters to overcome their enemies and kill the rest of them. 

 

She crawled over to her brother, now openingly sobbing. She got behind him and started rocking his body back in forth, sobbing out  _ no  _ after  _ no  _ after  _ no _ . 

 

Alec sat down behind her and held her as she held her brother. 

 

Se threw her head back and her eyes suddenly began to glow and Magnus was reminded of the child Alec’s warning and called out his name.

 

The others looked at him strangely but he ignored him.

 

The scene froze and Alec turned to Magnus, meet his gaze, and nodded. 

 

“You’re right, of course, that’s enough of that. You don’t need to see her fall apart.”

 

Darkness opened underneath their feet again and they fell through another portal.   
  


The young dead shadowhunters looking down at them as the fell were the last things they saw before being completely consumed by the abyssal darkness below.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooooooorrry.
> 
> Ps. The light thing and the woman will be explained a little in the next chapter and more throughout the story. 
> 
> I'll update soon! Promise!


	10. Let the Curtains Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final Act for the Theatrical Lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the wait! This is my final semester before graduating & transferring and it's just a tiny bit (overwhelmingly so) busy... >.<
> 
> But I promise not to abandon the fic! I just can not, unfortunately, promise a steady schedule. :'( I'm sorry 
> 
> However, I will update as soon as I am able. *Pinky Promise*
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading, kudoing, & commenting! It means so much to me. <3 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

They landed in an infirmary, Alec sitting in a chair between two beds. 

 

Annemette in one, the dark haired girl Alec had saved in battle in the other. 

 

Annemette slowly faded away before reappearing curled up on Alec’s lap, watching over the other girl. 

 

“I don’t know how Alex is ever going to look me in the eye again. I almost got their sister killed. I almost got my pariabiti’s sister killed. They must be so angry right now...”

 

“They aren’t angry with you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“I should have stood up to my mom. I knew something was off about this mission.”

 

“I could have stood up to my mom too, but I didn’t, because they’re the adults. They’re suppose to know best but they didn’t and we’re the ones who paid for their mistakes.”

 

“When did you get so smart?”

 

“It’s a side effect from being friends with all you nerds.” Alec snarked at her.

 

Annemette giggled, “Oh like you aren’t a literary nerd yourself!”

 

“I neither confirm nor deny that accusation.” Alec replied with a smile. 

 

Annemette snorted. 

 

The dark haired girl groaned. 

 

Annemette and Alec jumped up and went to the girl's bedside. 

 

She opened her eyes and blinked heavily. 

 

“Hey...” she said slowly, 

 

Annemette cried out in delight and buried her face in the girl’s stomach, hiccuping, laughing, and sobbing all at once. 

 

Alec smoothed back her hair and smiled down at the girl. 

 

“I’m glad you’re awake, Genevieve.”

 

The girl smiled softly up at him and fell back asleep.

 

 

The walls began to spin and suddenly they were standing in a large hall. 

 

There were bodies lying under white sheets as is the Shadowhunter way. Out of the fifteen not including Alec, Annemette, and Mabuz who had gone on this mission only six returned to their families. 

 

That meant ten children had died needlessly, Magnus thought.

 

Alec was dressed all in white, not for the first or last time. Annemette stood next to him, defying tradition. On her white dress was a thick black line curled around her from the sleeveless top to the flowing skirt that fell just past her knees. In the light it shone with all different colors. If you stared long enough you could see that Alec’s bowtie was made of the same material but if you blinked it went back to being white. 

 

By every body stood a person who would name the deceased. They had each been given a white flower and each of them placed it on the sheet covering their loved one as they said their name. A basket of white flowers laid between Alec’s and Annemette’s feet

 

Annemette choked out her brother’s name and Alec placed his hand on her elbow giving her the support needed to keep her standing. As the last name was spoken the flowers all turned the same dark color that decorated Annemette’s dress and the glittery color spread to the sheet. 

 

Only a few noticed and bitter sweet smiles graced their faces as they watched the vessels that once held their loved ones burn.

 

 

The entire Institution faded away and all that was left was Alec holding a shimmering ebony flower. 

 

“I still miss him… but I decided after his death that love, even the prospect of it, wasn’t worth it. Of course Magnus went and proved me wrong-”

 

Alec’s smile was sweet but his eyes were pained. 

 

“-but I kept this part of myself closed off for a long time to protect myself from anymore pain.” 

 

He left the flower fall to the floor and suddenly the ground was covered in them. 

 

“It’s been six years and Annemette still turns to talk to him sometimes.” 

 

Magnus bent down and picked up a flower. He tucked it into his secret inside pocket on his vest. 

 

Alec looked at the flowers at his feet and spoke quietly, as if to himself. 

 

“Annemette use to leave colors on everything she touched… I remember laughing more before that night… Mabuz had a beautiful smile… Jessica was a fierce warrior...”

 

Alec continued to list names and something unique about each of them. 18 names, all those who had fought in that wore down, abandoned warehouse. Those who were too young to already be gone from this world, those too young to be haunted by the battlefield. 

 

Alec looked at his mother. 

 

“Why didn’t you listen to me?”

 

Maryse opened her mouth but found herself with nothing to say. 

 

“My friends wouldn’t be dead if you had listened, if either of you had ever listen to us for once in your lives!” 

 

The white walls were steadily doused in the sparkly inky black color as it fell down from the ceiling and the light faded from the room until all that was a soft glow.  

 

“A part of me died with them, Mom… Why did you let us die?”

 

Tears fell one after the other onto the flowers. While Alec’s glimmered as they slid down the petals causing them to glow...

 

Maryse’s were like acid and burned every petal they touched until they all went up in smoke. 

 

“Of course, Annemette’s mom forbid of from talking about what happened with anyone who didn’t already know. I couldn’t even find comfort from my sister or parabatai and I certainly wasn’t going to find any comfort from you.”

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry...”

 

“You’re always sorry, It’s always too late...”

 

Maryse began to sob, slightly bent over, unable to stand proud with the weight of her actions catching up to her all at once. 

 

She placed her hand over her mouth, knuckles white, like she could hide her weakness if she could only keep it trapped within herself. 

 

A velvety glittery vine began to slowly climbed up Alec leg.

 

Vines began to grow from the floor and they twisted themselves into doors, flowers with petals folded in on one another made the knobs.

 

“It’s time for the curtains to fall, the show has ended... Jocelyn pick someone.”

 

Jocelyn looked between her lover and her daughter.

 

“Luke.”

 

Luke, who had silently noticed a pattern, chose his door carefully. He looked at the runes on four different doors before choosing the fifth. The rune on it was Sharing. 

 

Alec’s left brow rose. 

 

Luke hesitated but no one noticed as he pulled open the door with an assured expression.  

 

The vines making up the other doors fell apart blending in with the floral canvas beneath their feet.

 

Alec let out a soft laugh that echoed throughout the room and turned to smile at Magnus. 

 

“I’m sure people assume you to be the dramatic one in our relationship… but my family has always had a flare for theatrics.”

 

He winked at his siblings.

 

“And so it would stand to reason, it flows through my blood as well… So good luck with the next one!”

 

With those final words, the vine had wrapped itself around Alec completely. He turned slightly away from them and lifted his arm which the vine had also draped itself  upon, and at its tip, resting in his palm, was a single flower.

 

His entire being faded into that reflective coal colored essence, glitter and colors painting him out to be like a galaxy.  

 

He froze like a statue, eyes closed, face turned upwards towards the the flower in his palm. From his other hand, down at his side, hung an open locket. It was the only thing outside than the group that held any fixed color. It was gold with a picture of Alec, Annemette, and Mabuz all smiling inside. 

 

Michelangelo would have stood in awe of the details, how expressive Alec was frozen as a sculpture. 

 

The heartbreak on his face bleed through the glossy stars and planets adorning his skin. 

 

“Dramatic indeed,” muttered Raphael as he went through the door after Luke and Jocelyn. 

 

Izzy, Jace, and Max glared at his back as they followed. 

 

Lydia, Clary, and Simon were next. Then Maryse and Robert. 

 

Magnus paused and looked at the piece of his boyfriend that had formed into a painted marble statue, trapped in a garden of flowers resembling space and the wonders within it.

 

“One day I’ll free you,” he whispered then step through the door to join the others.

 

A single tear ran down Alec’s immobilize face and off his chin. It fell to the floor.

 

When it hit the ground it exploded into a supernova of colors, though no one was there to see it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I wasn't 100% how to describe it but imagine Alec's tears like anime tears that are all sparkly and hit the floor with a whooshy ripple effect. :D


	11. This World is but a Canvas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.  
> \- Henry Ward Beecher
> 
> >.<

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does me updating so quickly make up for all the times I didn't? : ) 
> 
> From now on I'm probably going to split each room into 2-3 chapters so I can update in a better system. 
> 
> Thank you to all who read, kudos, and especially comment. 
> 
> On more than one occasion your comments have turned a difficult day into a better one! <3 <3 <3 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

Stepping into the next room was like stepping into a painting. Every wall was covered in brightly designed scenes and adornments. Down on the floor was a rough black and white sketch of Maryse and Robert holding an infant Alec in their arms. There was nothing drawn beyond the three of them, the rest of the floor an unused canvas. 

 

The ceiling, however, was covered in details and designs with no space left untouched. 

 

Alec stood in the middle, looking down at the group. His eyes and runes appeared to glow. His bow rested against his left leg, his quiver and arrows peeking over his right shoulder. He was dressed to the nines in clothes made for a prince, all white apart from his cloak which was made of the same dark material as the flower hidden in Magnus’s vest pocket. It seemed to shimmer and fall down in waves around him.  

 

He was surrounded by people. The group closest to him included Magnus, Jace, Izzy, Max, Annette and one other person. None of them would have recognized this mystery person even if his back hadn’t been turned to Alec and thus the group. His head was turned slightly so that his profile was just visible enough to notice his eye glowing red. 

 

Max rested against his right hip, head leaning against Alec’s shoulder. In his visible hand rested a shining stele. He was dressed in regalia. Izzy, wearing a beautiful vintage dress, mirrored her younger brother on Alec’s left side, arm entwined with his, her head resting on his other shoulder. Her whip glimmering on her other arm. 

 

Jace stood in front of him, in bright golden amour, seraph out and ready to defend. He, along with Izzy and Max all wore golden circlets.

 

Magnus stood behind him, one arm thrown protectively over his neck, hand resting over his heart. His other arm was wound his waist. His fingers glowed with magic, the ones over Alec’s heart were azure blue and the ones resting on his hip were crimson red. He did not have a circlet of his own, but instead a necklace made of yellow diamonds. His cat eyes were lit and his smile was dangerous, as if daring someone to attack. 

 

Annemette sat near his feet, legs crossed, an old large book resting in her lap, open but tilted so nothing inside could be seen. She wore old brown trousers and a white shirt that kind of reminded Simon of a pirate. Her eyes twinkled with mischief barely concealed by a kind smile. A boy leaned against her back, his profile showing him to have a large scar across his face. He had the same strawberry blond hair as Annemette . 

 

A smiling Mabuz, the dark haired girl Genevieve, an androgynous shadowhunter that looked like her and was probably Alex, and an unknow fae girl all sat in a half circle around Annemette. All of them wore clothes worthy of a night on the town. 

 

Madzie and a few other shadow world children stood between Nettie’s group and Alec.

 

Clary, Simon, Lydia, and Luke were all depicted as silver knights circling the inner groups.  

 

The rest of the ceiling was filled with randomly placed people including Maryse, Robert, Rapheal, Jocelyn, and many other shadowhunters and downworlders. 

 

In between the people were random items like stacks of books and weapons, and pictures of important places like the Institution or Magnus’s loft in frames were scattered throughout the painting.

 

The border was vines made of ice and sparklingly black velvet flowers woven along the edges.  

 

In one corner of the room stood a table with art supplies surrounding it and Alec was draped over it.  

 

The group walked towards the table glancing at the artwork on the walls as they passed. 

 

There were woven tapestries hanging down which looked magnificent in both detail and design. 

 

On the right and left walls, both tapestries was divided into three columns. The one on the right was Izzy’s, Jace’s, and Max’s likenesses knitted into the fabric of their individual columns. 

 

Surrounding them were looped scenes of important memories that had left an impact on Alec.

 

On the opposite side, Annemette and Mabuz shared the middle column. The two men from the ceiling portrait whose backs were turned were once again facing partially away from view on either side. 

 

Both of those columns appeared to be covered with shadows and trying to pick out any details beyond strawberry blond hair and red eyes was difficult.  

 

There was a white sheet covering the wall in front of them. 

 

The Alec on table slowly rose as they walked the last few steps towards him. 

 

He sat up on the edge of the table, his arms behind him holding him up, and his head thrown back. 

 

He was covered in colors from paints, oil pastels, and other artistic materials. He wore what was  _ once  _ a plain white, extra large T-shirt that hung off  his shoulder and pooled around his waist. His bright white pants had smears and hand prints all over them and were ripped at the knee from wear. 

 

Magnus thought he looked gorgeous and wanted to see how far down the colors went.  

 

“Hello.”

 

Alec smiled at them and nodded lazily. 

 

“Greetings,” he replied, “Apologizes for the mess, my dears, but art is often chaotic, I’ve found.”

 

“Who are you?” Lydia asked, straight to the point as ever. 

 

“His artistic, fanciful, philosophical side… I suppose” He answered half-heartedly with a shrug. 

 

“You suppose?”

 

“Art, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what is philosophy but words dressed up to appear important and sound intelligent?”

 

No one was really sure how to respond. 

 

Simon walked up to the table and sat down next to Alec.

 

“I bet  _ you _ could come up with a great band name.”

 

Alec smiled down on him. “Names are just labels designed to place people and things into boxes.”

 

Simon glared at Alec for a moment in suspicion, “You’re trolling me, aren’t you?”

 

Alec’s eyes went wide in false innocence before he threw back in head and laughed in delight. 

 

“Just a little.”

 

Simon laughed along. 

 

“I like this you.”

 

Alec tipped an imaginary hat at Simon. 

 

“I didn’t realize that any part of you got along with Simon.” Raphael muttered beneath his breath. 

 

Alec heard and grinned, “Oh he isn’t so bad.” 

 

Simon pretended to wipe away a tear, “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

 

Alec patted Simon on the head a few times. 

 

The group was now even more confused on how to approach this new Alec.

 

Simon turned to the others and said, “He’s my favorite, can we keep him?”

 

Everyone but Alec rolled their eyes at him. 

 

Simon began to fire questions. 

 

“So what’s up with those shadowy guys? Why is there a white sheet? What’s the deal with the tapestries? Did you make them yourself?” 

 

Alec raised his hand and Simon paused. 

 

“One is concealed in betrayal, the other in mystery. The white sheet veils an unfinished project. The tapestries reveal the past. And yes.”

 

“Cool. Who's who?”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“Which one of them is the betrayer and which one is the oh so mysterious one?”

 

Alec blinked. 

 

“The one on the right is the the deceiver and the one on the left an unsolved mystery.” 

 

“Cool.” Simon suddenly changed the topic of conversation, “So what’s your story telling technique?” 

 

Alec smiled knowingly.  

 

“Touch a tapestry and find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0.o >.< 0.0 _._' o.0
> 
> Hope you liked it!


	12. Our Strings of Fate, Woven Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Important encounters are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other" -Paulo Coelho
> 
> According to myth, Gods tie strings around your little finger connecting you to your soulmate. It can stretch and bend but never break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit shorter than the others, but it's *mostly* cute (in my opinion at least >.<) so I hope it makes up for that. 
> 
> Thank you all who have read, kudos-ed (is that a somewhat correct way of saying it? lol), or commented! Ya'll make my day!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!! :D

Simon looked at Alec considering it and waited until Alec nodded at him before standing up and walking over to the tapestries on the right. 

 

His hand hovered over Jace’s column for a hesitant moment, before he touched it- first with just the tips of his fingers then his whole hand pressed against the tapestry, face lit up in awe. 

 

Jace walked over briskly and threw both of his hand onto his likeness without thinking. 

 

Tension he hadn’t been aware he was caring bleed out of him. 

 

Robert, Maryse, and Jocelyn stood in the middle of the room admiring the artwork from afar. 

 

Luke and Raphael watched the others from the corner.

 

Izzy and Max joined their brother and Simon.

 

Magnus followed the young shadowhunters over to the tapestries and brushed the air over the each one with his finger tips feeling jolts of love, acceptance, understanding, a sense of protection seep through his fingers into his very being. It felt similar to being wrapped in a heavy fuzzy blanket during a storm, comfort from a loved one’s hug after a long day, and the brightness of your favorite person’s smile all wrapped up in one. 

 

Magnus felt the need to blink away bittersweet tears. 

 

Alec suddenly stood to the side of him, hand on his elbow, and lead him away. 

 

He brought Magnus over to the large white sheet that covered the wall before them. 

 

He dragged a chair over and pulled out a small knife. He stood on the chair and cut two small slits, each just off to the middle. 

 

He offered his hand to Magnus and he accepted it, joining Alec on the chair. Alec maneuvered them until he stood behind Magnus, his hands sliding down the warlock’s arms until he could rest his hands on the others. He raised their joined hands and placed them into the sheets openings.

 

Magnus gasped and began to tremble. He was grateful to already be in Alec’s arms because he wasn’t sure he would have been able to stand without his support as he was overwhelmed by layer after layer of love, longing, support, gratitude, fondness, a few random bursts of fear or confusion, but mostly a whirlwind of good honest feelings that were wrapped up so tightly together it was impossible to separate and identify them all. It felt like drowning in happiness.

 

Alec took his hands away and Magnus let his own slip through the holes and fall to his sides. He rested heavily on his boyfriend, head tilted sideways on his shoulder, face buried in his neck. Neither of them paid any mind to the tears that ran down both of their faces. 

 

Alec gave him a moment to recover then whispered in his ear, “The tapestry underneath this sheet is yours.”

 

He smiled fondly down at the other.

 

“It’s too early, too delicate to present to others but I thought you deserved to feel it even if you can’t see it. See, my love, my hopes and dreams, memories, everything that makes up you and me is woven into the tapestry as I create it. If you look at the bottoms of the others you’ll notice that they’re blank. It’s because we, my siblings and I, have a lifetime together to finish filling them out.”

 

He kissed Magnus’s neck and took a deep breath. 

 

“I wish to spend the rest of our lives adding to this tapestry.”

 

Magnus nodded frantically into Alecs’ neck, whispering  _ yes  _ over and over, hands gripping Alec’s tightly as if he wished to never let go.  

He could feel Alec’s grin as he pressed a kiss into his hair. 

 

Clary, always the curious one, stood at the opposite side as the others in front of Annemette and Mabuz’s likenesses. She traded off touching each of their sides, letting bittersweet remembrance and fond amusement roll down her in waves. 

 

The blond haired man shrouded in shadows caught her attention as something in the tapestry glimmered. 

 

She reached out to touch it, a silent gasp being ripped from her mouth, forced into the shape of an O as the air was knocked out of her lungs. 

 

She fell back and onto the floor, from the overpowering, immense pain resulting from that single touch. 


	13. Art is Love Made Public

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn some deep dark secrets 0.0! about all sorts of people! Plus Clary and Alec have a moment. >.<
> 
> P.S. It's probably the longest chapter so far. :)
> 
> & I had fun with names lol. ;D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is hard (fun and worthwhile but still hard) but soon it will be summer! Lol. I like to think that I'll have a steadier updating schedule when I only have one class rather than 6. :D
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and the lovely kudos and comments! >.< They make me so happy when I feel like I'm going out of my mind!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter!!! :)

~~~~ Clary, always the curious one, stood at the opposite side as the others in front of Annemette and Mabuz’s likenesses. She traded off touching each of their sides, letting bittersweet remembrance and fond amusement roll down her in waves.

 

The blond haired man shrouded in shadows caught her attention as something in the tapestry glimmered.

 

She reached out to touch it, a silent gasp being ripped from her mouth, shaped like an O as she fell back and onto the floor, from the overpowering immense pain resulting from that single touch.

 

As her body hit the floor, a puddle of blood circled her like a fallen angel’s dwindling halo. 

 

Everyone froze then rushed to her side, except for Alec who strolled after the others. He seemed to glide across the floor. 

 

Simon thought he might’ve cheerfully whistled as he walked if this were a movie instead of some twisted version of Alice’s adventure into the Looking Glass.

 

He shooed the others away from Clary and leaned down next to her. He took her hand and grimaced. The blood around Clary seeped back into her body like time was on rewind but then blood began to soak through the back of Alec’s shirt. 

 

Clary sat up, unharmed, gasping for air like she had been without it for a 100 years. 

 

Alec smiled kindly down at her and offered his hand. 

 

She accepted and leaned against him as she rose, her head resting on the arm she claimed in a death grip. 

 

“He was your friend and he tried to kill you...” 

 

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “Why…?”

 

“Because he went mad with grief and rage,” He shrugged, “And we couldn’t save him no matter how hard we tried.”

 

“We?”

 

Alec looked up at the tapestry with an unreadable expression on his face. 

 

“He was- is Annemette’s twin. They were adopted after their entire family, apart for the two of them, were slaughtered by demons. Both of their parents had been exiled from the shadowhunter community and stripped of their rules. They had no way to defend themselves from an attack but their mother hid them in a closet and then died leading the demons from them. They were six weeks old. They barely survived the day and a half it took for them to be found.”  

 

He brushed the tapestry depicting Annemette and Mabuz with the tips of his fingers, under her half. 

 

“They were adopted by their father’s childhood best friend, and once parabatai, Abner. The twins were renamed and introduced as his and his wife’s own. They told people that they had wanted more children but his wife did not want to go through pregnancy again, as they already had 5 boys. So instead they ‘used a surrogate from another institute’ but waited until they came home to announce them.

 

“They grew up believing this lie. Only to later find out that they were adopted and that The Circle had sent the demons that had killed their parents, though to this day they have no idea why. As well as finding out that The Clave had heard word of the attack before it happened and did not notify Abner until too late.”

 

“That's horrible! I can’t believe that The Clave was allowed to get away with that!” 

 

Alec shrugged, “It is what it is and how it’s always been.” 

 

Clary glared, shoulders tense. “How could you say that? You especially?” 

 

Alec seemed amused, “ _Whatever_ do you mean?”

 

Clary sputtered, “You stood up to The Clave at your wedding! You-”

 

“-took my life, my happiness into my own hands. Kissing Magnus wasn’t a power play, I kissed him because I wanted to, because it made me happy. I wasn’t trying to change our world, every ripple caused by our kiss was unforeseen, unplanned.” 

 

“But you can not deny that you did change things.”

 

“I’m not denying it and I hope things continue to change but that wasn’t my intention. I alone can not take on The Clave.”

 

“I’m not saying you should!”

 

“And whom among the Nephilim would stand with me?”

 

“We would!”

 

Alec smiled down at her, fondly amused, “Only until your next crusade.”

 

Clary spluttered and Alec raised one hand.

 

“I seek not to offend, I think you misunderstand me. Art is fundamentally change. Art in itself is rebellion, but it is also a silent victory. Often, without being visibly defiant, it makes people think, causes people to react but it does not expect for the world to change in a single day. It instead inspires, breathes life into those who drowning, letting them know they are not alone, that one day, when enough people can understand the message behind every stroke of the brush, every curve of the sculpture, every stitch in the tapestry, then things  _ will  _ get better.

 

“And it’s clever, hiding its meaning, it’s secret message from those who would seek to oppose, to take it away so that only those who truly  _ look  _ for it can actually  _ see  _ it.

 

“Not enough people see it yet, Clary, for it to make a difference. You are so passionate, you want for change to happen  _ now  _ but that isn’t always possible without tearing down and destroying everything first. And that can cause more harm than good. You are not the type to patiently nurture change. However, that is often how art works, my dear.  You, instead, feel you must go and make it. I admire that about you. All I ask is you respect that how I make a difference is not the same way you would do it and you support me and others who will carefully repair the damaged parts of our society rather than rip them out by the roots, damaging the sprouting seeds around them.

 

"I would not have chosen it but my life has become like a piece of art, let me chose how the brush strokes fall, okay?”

 

Clary, as passionate by the fire inside her heart that never really burned out, had started to shimmered silently as Alec had begun speaking but slowly cooled as he continued. By the end, she looked thoughtful, perhaps a bit sorrowful. 

 

She hugged him before glancing back at the tapestry.

 

“What was his name?” She asked, kindly.

 

“Jolon-Busiris Diomed-Marlon St. Claire-Mirthsplitter. If you think I’m joking, I swear I’m not. Annemette and Mabuz had just as ridiculously bizarre and complicated names, the entire St. Claire-Mirthsplitter family does… His name may have played a part in his madness.”

 

His joke fell just a bit flat. 

 

“You tried to change him.”

 

“We did, we wanted to leech the poison out of him but we did not realize in our haste that we were bleeding him dry.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Alec sighed, “We were young. What did any of us know about the world?”

 

Many within the group made questioning sounds. 

 

“Nevermind,” Alec replied, waving his hand in a dismissing motion. 

 

“Why did you touch this tapestry?”

 

Clary shrugged, “I saw something shiny.”

 

Alec reached into the tapestry, hand merging with the woven threads for a moment, before pulling out a knife.

 

Clary looked at it, pale and sickened at the sight. 

 

“He stabbed you with that.” It wasn’t a question.

 

Alec answered, softly, anyways. “Yes.”

 

“He broke, couldn’t distinguish between friend and foe. In his paranoia, he lead me away from the others and attacked, leaving me to die.”

 

Luke placed his hand on Alec’s shoulder. 

 

“That’s why I got this door, we share the burden of being betrayed.”   

 

“And loving the one who would not only leave you die but be the one to twist the knife in your back, yes.”

 

“I’m sorry. You should not have had to deal with that, especially not at your age.”

 

“You shouldn’t have either and you were not so much older than I.”

 

Luke tightened his grip for a moment, patted his shoulder twice and then stepped back. 

 

Alec smiled then tossed the knife back into the tapestry where it glittered upon impact then faded back into the shadows. 

 

“So do we get to know about the other guy?” 

 

Simon spoke up, pointed at the tapestry adjacent to Jolon.

 

Alec looked at the still mysterious figure and lifted one shoulder.

 

“Yamanu  Meszaros. Vampire. Mysterious. Fond of  Annemette’s bloodline. Makes sure to watch over them.  Hates Rita- ”

 

“Who?”

 

“The Warlock who caused the death of Mabuz and the other Shadowhunters...”

 

“Oh...”

 

“Other than that, I don’t know much more. He gave Annemette the book her ancestor started and me a pair of knives I’ve never used.”

 

“Why not?” Raphael asked. 

 

“... They are designed specifically kill Warlocks, a particular Warlock... Rita... I was given them for my own protection but I have not yet needed them.”

 

No one said anything for a long while. 

 

Then Alec turned to the others, “There is still work to be done and lessons to learn.”

 

From paint splatters on the floor, unseen before this moment, rose doors that looked like three-dimensional oil paintings.

 

“Luke?”

 

“Clary.”

 

Clary brushed her hand down Alec’s arm, a silent apology that she didn’t quite know what for but felt she had to give before leaving. 

 

Every door had unique features painted or carved into it. She walked up to the one with scratches and holes carved in and decided that for once she didn’t want to know. 

 

She chose instead, the one closest to it, with vibrant flowers painted on. 

 

She opened the door and walked through but not before waving goodbye. Alec waved back.

 

Simon hugged him quickly before running after her and Luke patted him on the back twice before following his favorite troublemakers. 

 

Jocelyn, Raphael, Lydia, Maryse, and Robert all walked through without looking back. 

 

Max, Izzy, and Jace all hugged Alec goodbye. 

 

Magnus followed suit. 

 

Before he crossed through, however, Alec called out.

 

He was standing sideways, his attention on the tapestry hidden behind the big white sheet.

 

“Annemette likes this quote from one of the mundane shows she's into… ‘Art is love made public’... When I hear that quote I think of you.”

 

Magnus took a deep shaky breath. “I love you too”. 

 

He closed the door with the Craft rune on the handle as he went to join the others.

 

The doors melted into puddles before soaking in the floor, quickly fading to nothing. 

 

Alec ripped the large white sheet off the wall and began to weave, picking up where he had left off before he had visitors. 

 

Magnus stepped out onto a field filled with bright vibrant flowers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.
> 
> Yes, the names are supposed to be needlessly prestigious. :) 
> 
> I may be going a bit overboard but it was very amusing on my end. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	14. In a Field of Wildflowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're starting to pull at the strings of the past, unraveling a mystery!
> 
> And we get to know some new people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got really excited for this door! So I ended up writing much sooner than I thought I would. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, kudosing, and commenting!
> 
> Hope you all like it.

The field was filled with wildflowers, small grassy hills, and at the edge, a beautiful sparkling lake.

 

Surrounding the field and lake were miles of trees, hiding this perfect little piece of paradise away from the rest of the world. 

 

The sun was shining and everyone felt at home in the soft light. 

 

Raphael, who had not felt the sun’s warmth in a long time, closed his eyes, let his head fall back, and for a moment, just allowed himself to fade away with no worries or concerns.

 

Lydia sat down on one of the hills and felt the tension she carried on her back like armor slide off her shoulders, the sudden weightlessness coming with a slight concern for floating away. 

 

Clary and Simon had ganged up on Luke, tackling him to the ground, their laughter filling up the empty air. 

 

Izzy and Jace were playing tag with Max. 

 

Jocelyn, Maryse, and Robert all stood apart from each other and the others, not seeming to know what to do with themselves. 

 

Magnus decided to venture to the lake. 

 

Sitting by the edge was a young snickering Alec and a young laughing-so-hard-tears-were- rolling-down-her-cheeks Annemette. They appeared to be around 12 years old. 

 

He walked up to them slowly as to not startle them and sat down a foot away from them. 

 

They grinned at him mischievously, before bending their heads together and whispering in a language he couldn’t identify and giggling. 

 

Magnus felt too calm in this room (thought it was so open it hardly felt like one) to be concerned about their gossiping and truth be told, he was quite pleased to see Alec, and even Annemette so happy that he didn’t mind if he was the butt of the joke.

 

It didn’t register with him at the moment, but something felt a little off...

 

There were a handful of people, shadowhunters and downworlders, swimming in the lake. 

 

A few of them ran out to join Alec and Annemette. One was a young Mabuz and the others were identical twins. 

 

“Come on little sister!” The twins said in unison, “Join us!” 

 

Annemette laughed and lifted her arms, “Carry me!”

 

And so they did, each grabbing an arm and a leg then running over to a wooden pier before tossing her into the lake. 

 

Mabuz offered Alec a hand and he took it. 

 

Together they joined the larger group playing Marco Polo. Magnus laughed as he watched Annemette and another girl played chicken fight on top of the twins shoulders and a girl dunk a boy’s head off to the side of the games. 

 

A man, older than the rest of people enjoying the lake, stepped out and sat down next to Magnus. 

 

“Hello.”

 

Startled, Magnus responded. “Hello?”

 

“Yes, I am talking to you,” The stranger grinned at him, “I’m Gerhardt, Annemette’s oldest brother.” 

 

Magnus realized that was what had felt off, Alec  _ and  _ Annemette had seen and reacted to him, not just Alec.

 

Gerhardt offered Magnus his hand, Magnus was surprised to find that he could touch the other. 

 

“You know, I’ve known Alec since he was 4 years old?”

 

“Oh?”

 

Gerhardt hummed in acknowledgment, “Sweet little thing, loved his sister more than anything. Claimed Annemette and Jolon as his best friends the day he met them… well, probably more like they claimed him. Beyond the whole shadow thing, he was a happy kid.”

 

“Shadow thing…? You mean the demon?”

 

“Yeah. That damn thing followed Annemette and Jolon too. We thought the three of them had come up with the ridiculous notion together, for attention. I should have listened to them, maybe things would have turned out differently if I had.”

 

“We all have things we wish we could change.”

 

“True,” Gerhardt replied, “But most people don’t have a couple of dead little brothers and an even younger brother missing and to blame for the others’ deaths.”

 

He looked over to the others, swimming and splashing and just having fun. 

 

“He once told me, that he wished he had an older sibling because he saw how awesome I was. I wish I could have been worthy of that praise. But I got older, and I was young, and I didn’t want to take care of my little siblings. I wanted to go out with my friends, patrol, sneak out to the movies. I stopped paying attention and they stopped talking to me, they didn’t even tell me when they discovered-”

 

He sighed, dejectedly, “No.. Not my place to say. But I will say this, none of you know what he’s willing to do for those he loves. You have to be careful, Magnus, he will go to war with the world for his family. Take care to make sure he doesn’t go where he can’t return, unmarked. He’s already done it once… and mental scars never really fade. Don’t let him push himself until he breaks because I’ve already watched one brother go insane, I don’t want to lose another to madness.”

 

With that Gerhardt slapped him on the shoulder then ran across the wooden pier before diving into the water. 

 

Magnus sat, staring at the water, and at Alec as if one might suddenly offer him answers to the questions roaming around his head. 

 

The others in his group slowly joined him, one by one collapsing around him, done with their fun. 

 

Over in the lake the twins, done with their chicken game, wandered over pushing each other all the while. 

 

“ _ Hi _ ”, They greeted them in unison, arms thrown around each other. 

 

“I’m Ashcroft!” said the one on the right. 

 

“And I’m Ashford!” said the one on the left. 

 

“ _ Pleased to make your acquaintance _ .”

 

Jace looked at them incredulously, “Are you talking to  _ us _ ?”

 

“They can see and talk to us, in this room,” Magnus told the others.

 

The twins laughed, “ _ Alec doesn’t want to ruin this room for himself by talking to you, so he sent us instead. _ ”

 

“Clever little-” said Ashcroft.

 

“Cheeky little-” said Ashford.

 

“ _ -brat _ .” They said together.

 

“ _ But he’s always been that way, _ ” They said, shrugging, the arm around their brother shaking as their brothers’ arm moved underneath. 

 

“A brat?” Izzy asked, amused.

 

“ _ Clever _ ,” they responded like she had asked a very stupid question. 

 

“He’s the one who figured it all out, you know?” One of the twins said.

 

“Oh yes! He’s quite proud of that accomplishment, and rightly so, none of us had any idea!” The other mentioned. 

 

“Figure,  _ what  _ out exactly?” 

 

“ _ Not our place _ ,” they grinned, “ _ But we will tell you a story! _ ”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gerhardt's full name is Gerhardt-Quinn Aegeus Haywood Gaines St. Claire-Mirthsplitter. 
> 
> In my head, their mom is really prestigious and haughty and their dad is a really adorable nerd. 
> 
> So the poor kids end with really complex names because their parents were an arranged marriage and one of the only things they have in common is a love for fancy names.
> 
> I'll announce Ashcroft's & Ashford's full names next chapter!
> 
> P.S. Alec will talk to them in this door, just not this chapter lol


End file.
